Wonderful Writing Website

2012?

2012-01-14T12:59:00.000-05:00

This year has already been crazy.

I started off this year on a relatively good note - I was planning and anticipating my cousin's surprise welcome home party (more on that in a minute).He had returned home from Afghanistan on December 18th and he was coming into town to visit with his family here (including me) and I was SO excited. I hadn't seen him since Jimmy's funeral and I was absolutely and completely pumped to see him again.

However, five days into the year and a death has already occurred pretty close to my heart. My grandma's neighbor, Harry, lost his long health battle Thursday night. Harry gave me the confidence I needed to write. From the first time I told him I liked to write he has always pushed me to never lose sight of that dream. I think a major part of why I believed that this man could really make me accomplish my dreams was because he had done the same thing with his grandson. His grandson, Mikey as he called him, had loved baseball since he was a kid. Harry had always encouraged him and Mike made it to the Major Leagues, now currently pitching for the New York Mets. I came to call Harry my "Drunk in the Walker" after a ticket mix up when Harry went to watch Mike pitch here in Cincinnati. His passing was rough to deal with, and I'm not sure that it's completely sank in yet. I attended his funeral and looked at his body and felt that that couldn't be the man that I knew and loved. It didn't look like him, though he had been really sick and had lost a lot of weight. But that inspiration in my life couldn't just be gone. And I think that's something that I felt when Jimmy died. If someone had changed me so much, had shaped me so much, how could they just suddenly be out of my life? And as I stood there looking at Harry this past Tuesday, I realized something. They're not. God brought people into my life for a reason - to teach me things, to show me things, and to make me who I am. And once they've done that, they can't ever leave my life. Harry will always be with me, because he gave me the best gift anyone could ever give to a writer: he gave me the confidence to believe that I could accomplish what I wanted and that I could write if I wanted to. And after I received that gift, I can't ever lose it. So, Harry, I thank you with all that I am. The rose from your funeral is right with my writing awards because I know without you, there's a good chance that I wouldn't have ever received them.

A week ago today was my cousin's surprise party, which is hard to believe because it seems like it was just yesterday. I told him to meet me for lunch at 2:30 at a nearby restaurant and that after lunch we could just go back to my house and hang out. When Tyler finally showed up (haha) he was met by 30+ Patriot Guard Riders. It was silent as he stood up out of his car and took in the riders. I started clapping and the applause erupted around him, FOR him. The look on his face was absolutely priceless and it's something I think I'll never forget. Before he could come see his few family members that were there, he was presented with a flag. I stood there with tears in my eyes as I watched him accept it and was just in awe as I realized what a Hero he really is. Finally, once he had been presented with the flag, I ran to him and finally got to hug my Hero for the first time since September 11th, 2010. I heard the heartbeat that I wondered if I'd ever hear again, and I thanked God that Tyler made it home. I cried with joy and relief that he was home. From there, I rode back to my house with Tyler. It was almost surreal that I was finally seeing him, but I think we were both somewhat overwhelmed. As he pulled into my driveway, a lot of our family was standing outside and cheered as he pulled in the driveway. Tyler looks at me and says "Seriously, Hanna?" He was then presented with a certificate of Thanks by the Thank You Foundation. From there we went inside and ate and just hung out. It was a great day, one that I will never forget. Then Sunday I went to lunch with Tyler and my brother and spent a good portion of the day with him. It was very hard to let him go back home. Even though I knew it was far from goodbye, I still hated to say "see you later."

Welcome Home, Cpl Tyler McNabb. I am very proud of you, you have no idea. There was so much I wanted to tell you last weekend but didn't get the chance to. I love you very, very much, my Hero, my Marine, my Cousin.

2011 Recap

2011-12-30T14:38:00.000-05:00

I have, again, decided to do a recap for this year. This decision comes with a few complicated decisions about what to talk about on this blog and what should remain private. Nothing horrid, I assure you.

The year began with a sense of relief. 2010 was over – the worst year of my life was over. Although I had dreaded 2011 so much and had felt almost guilty for entering into it, once that ball dropped and “Happy New Year”s erupted throughout the house, I knew something amazing had happened. For my family, it was a promise that the coming year couldn’t be worse than the one that had just ended. But for me, it was something else, maybe only slightly different. For me, it was a promise that I was going to make it through Jimmy’s death. No matter what life threw at me, I would make it. And thus far, I have.

In February, my cousin gave birth to a beautiful baby boy – James Henry – on the 7th. Baby H, as we have come to call him, has been such a blessing to watch grow, though I didn’t meet him until a few months later. He’s full of smiles and I think that’s exactly what our family needed. Also in February, the rest of Jimmy’s unit returned home from a one year deployment to Afghanistan. They were met by love, honor, respect, and thanks by their families – and maybe a little bit of bitter sweet hearts by mine. On February 18th, my uncle turned 50 and I gave him a book of poems, letters, emails, and all kinds of stuff that I had written to, about, or for Jimmy, his son. On the last day of February, having been half a year since Jimmy was killed in action, I began writing again. There was an odd feeling that day when I finally got the “okay” from Jimmy’s brother. I looked at a picture of Jimmy smiling in his full battle-rattle and I just felt…at peace. I cried with joy that I didn’t quite understand. I still don’t understand it. The only thing I can say is maybe, just maybe, that was Jimmy’s way of saying that he was okay with this project, too.

In March I attended two “Packing Parties” to send supplies to the Troops – one through the Thank You Foundation and the other through the Yellow Ribbon Support Center. I went on Spring break and just did a bunch of local stuff we don’t often take advantage of. Other than that it was a pretty quiet month.

April, however, definitely anything but quiet. I went to a Red’s game with Jimmy’s oldest daughter, which was fun – but cold. I took a ride on the motorcycle with my uncle in the 10th. On the 15th of April, my cousin, Tyler, deployed with the United States Marine Corps. He would spend one month in Japan and then seven in Afghanistan. How this affected me is pretty indescribable. I don’t think I ever let the horrors of war be real until Jimmy came home with a flag draped over him, and having Tyler deploy just eight months after that really scared me. I prayed for him every night and wished for nothing more than for him to come home safely. I talked to him via Skype on April 25th, and that would be the last time I heard his voice for nearly eight months. On a lighter note, in April I saw “Water for Elephants” with my friend, which I really enjoyed. We also found out the truth about what happened to Jimmy on April 17th. And that day is a day that I will never forget. I remember holding my baby cousin, Nik, and just sobbing as my aunt told me. But what I remember most clearly is the sense of pride and relief that settled in me, knowing that Jimmy wasn’t alone. I resolved that day to meet the men that were with him – and I’m proud to say that I have. A Gold Star Family should never have to wonder what happened to their Hero, and they definitely should never be fed lies. I’m proud of Jimmy, and I couldn’t have asked for better men for him to have served with.

In May, my school held Student Council elections. I didn’t win, but having made it half way through my sophomore year, I honestly think that was a blessing in disguise. Leanna Renee Hieber came to town once again for her book The Perilous Prophecy of Guard and Goddess which is always an exciting event. On May 19th, I held Baby H for the first time, which was awesome. I love that kid. Jimmy would have turned 28 on the 24th of May. On May 28th, nine months after he was killed in action, we held a memorial for him and dedicated a stone to him. I was honored to speak at this event in front of not only my family, but several high-ranking government officials state and nation-wide. But the people that I was most honored to speak in front of were the four soldiers that served with Jimmy. I have never been more honored in my life than when I met these men, one of them especially that put my mind at ease. My only regret is that I had to speak right after Jimmy’s staff sergeant – that was the second hardest speech I’ve ever had to give. The man that I’m speaking of has undoubtedly become family in the months since, although we accepted him as such on the spot. He told many stories of Jimmy as a soldier, which was a side of him that was completely foreign to me. He also did something that, to this day, touches my heart. He wanted to give me a bracelet that Jimmy had made for him out of 550 chord. There was no way I was going to let him do that, but the fact that he offered…I don’t think he will ever know how much that small thing meant to me. And I’m not sure I can explain it either. But, SSG Riley, if you’re reading this, thank you. That’s the lamest thing to say, but I have to thank you. I don’t know what else to say.

I should also mention this guy pictured in the red. He was one of Jimmy's best friends and he has helped me realize that I have to keep living in ways that others could not. I met him at Jimmy's visitation, and he just came over and hugged me. That was the first time after I got the news that Jimmy had been killed that I had let myself believe that I could make it through this.

On June 4th, I brought a soldier home to his family with smiles. It was a hot day, but it was so worth it to ride with the Patriot Guard Riders to see that soldier’s surprise when bikes with flags escorted him back to his parents’ house. I will never forget that day. On June 14th, I turned 15, which was pretty exciting, I guess. On the 18th, my little sister turned 4. On June 15th, my cousin, Corey, got out of the United States Army. On the 28th, Corey arrived in Ohio.

On July 16th, my family and I left for Myrtle Beach. We stopped overnight in Tennessee and had dinner with my cousins – two of which I hadn’t seen in years. Yes, Scott, I’m talking about you. It was so good to see them. Sometimes we get so caught up in our everyday lives, we forget that our family won’t always be there. I sat around the table that night and looked at each of my family members. It amazed me how far each of them had come, Scott and his son especially. His son was eight at the time, and he’s just about the sweetest, funniest kid I’ve ever met. I hope he turns out just like his dad. We could really use some more people like him. The next day, we traveled the rest of the way to Myrtle Beach and we spent 5 days there. I rode with my uncle a couple times upon returning home, nothing PGR related, though. On the 29th, I saw possibly the worst movie ever made – “Cowboys and Aliens” – with my ‘cousin’, Nina, my friend, Kyle, and his cousin, Aaron. Note to self, never let Kyle choose the movie. We would have been better off seeing “Mr. Poppers Penguins” or “Winnie the Pooh”. But we had fun nonetheless. Even if there were a lot of short jokes (amongst other jokes *glares at Nina*) made.

And then August came. You know that month that makes you want to run backwards through the summer and just cling onto whatever last bits of freedom you can? Yeah, that month. The one year anniversary of my Granny came and went on the 3rd, and my dad turned 50 the next day. I saw the Smurfs movie, which made me love to be short. My Great Grandpa would have turned 100 on the 6th, which was pretty cool to me. My friend, Abby (HEY YOU’RE ON THE BLOG AGAIN! YOU ARE ACCOMPLISHED!) came over on the 11th and she got to see me open my Advanced Reader’s Copy of DARKER STILL by Leanna Renee Hieber (one of my most favorite books ever). I went to the lake with my grandparents, and my aunt and cousins joined us the next day. On the 19th, my family and I went to Columbus for the weekend as a last hoorah of summer. We met my cousin and his girlfriend for breakfast Saturday morning which was lovely. But it’s hard to eat next to someone that tall – he was cutting his pancakes and about elbowed me in the face. Granted, that could have been on purpose. Then we went to the zoo. We went back home and I started my sophomore year of school on the 24th. On the 28th, we honored Jimmy’s one year angelversary. My aunt and her sister went skydiving at the airport where we brought Jimmy home. We then let off 27 balloons in his honor, one for each year of his life. Later that night, we held a candle light ceremony at his grave and I gave an impromptu speech. And we made it through that day.

On September 10th, I went with some of my family to Sunbury, Ohio for the Fallen Heroes Memorial Dedication. It was an awesome ceremony and a highly emotional day. If we’re friends on Facebook, you can read my thoughts on that day there – I don’t think I can more adequately describe it than I did there. On the 11th, we attended a 9/11 remembrance ceremony. On the 16th, my dad drove my brother and I to Columbus and we spent the weekend with my cousin and his girlfriend. That weekend was definitely a highlight of my year. I laughed so much that weekend and I bonded not only with my cousin, but with his girlfriend too. It was a great weekend, and I don’t think they know how much it really meant to me. We went to the Ohio State campus on the 17th and that was just amazing. I’m completely in love with it. And now all I can say is, cousin and girlfriend if you’re reading this, you’re going to be soooooo sick of me when I go to college at Ohio State and live only minutes from you!!

On October 1st, my school held their homecoming dance, which was fun, but really crowded and hot. On the 8th, my cousin’s scholarship fund – Shabooms – held its first annual bike ride. I rode with my cousin mentioned above and I had a great time. My cousin, Scott, also came with his girlfriend and it was just a great day. It was also the 12 year anniversary of my mom’s death. In that respect, I was really glad I rode with my cousin. Every time my mind began to wander, he’d do something – pinch my knee, use my leg as an arm rest, start singing, etc. – that kept my mind off of it. I don’t know if he knew it or not, but I really needed it. So thank you, cousin. That night, my dad and I went to a bonfire at a family friend’s house and I saw said bad-movie-picker-friend. It was entertaining, but at that point my mind wasn’t allowing me to divert it from what the day meant. We didn’t stay long but when I went home that night, it was a long night to say the least. And I’m thankful for the person that talked to me the whole while, telling me I’d be okay. If you’re reading this, I don’t think you know how much that meant to me. You didn’t have to do that, but you did. Fire. Hot. Hurt!

In November, I was really busy. On the 11th, Veterans Day, a hard day was made less by the lovely Leanna Renee Hieber, once again in town for the release of a new book – Darker Still. I had such a great time at the signing and I love her dearly. Leanna, if you’re reading this, I want you to know I would have long ago given up on my dream of writing if it weren’t for you. You inspire me immensely. The next day, the 12th, Shabooms held a spaghetti dinner as a fund raiser for the scholarship fund. I met some other soldiers that Jimmy served with and it was just a great night. It was a hard night, but a great night nonetheless. I hope those two guys know just how much I loved meeting them. It was an honor. On the 18th, “Breaking Dawn Part I” came out in theatres and I went to see it opening night with my mom, my friend, and her mom. Front row, once again. Because I’m a nerd like that. Thanksgiving came and went, and for the first time ever, I went Black Friday shopping. Whether or not that will happen again, is undecided.

December. Possibly the best month of the whole year this year. To be completely honest, not a lot happened. My baby cousin, Nik, turned one. I went to my friend’s house (You’re in here, again!) to celebrate her birthday. On December 18th, though, Tyler came home from Afghanistan. At 5:34 that night, my phone rang and I heard the voice that I hadn’t heard since April 25th. But this time that voice wasn’t coming from Japan. It was coming from Chicago. I nearly broke down as he told me that he had wanted to surprise me at school, as he told me that he was so glad to be home, that he’d see me soon, that he loved me. I hadn’t expected a call that day, but I had feared that I’d never hear his voice again. I was so, so emotional when I finally got to muster the two words I had wanted to say to him for 8 months “Welcome Home.” And although Christmas came a week later, that was the best Christmas gift I received. Welcome home, CPL McNabb. You’ve made me and your country proud. I am honored to call you my cousin, and I love you.

And now, New Year’s is here again. I said last year that 2010 had made me a different person. And if that was the case, 2011 has made me true to that new person. I don’t think I’ll ever be the same as I was, but I don’t think any of us are really ever the same as we were. Whether we were changed by a loss, an addition, or just by decisions, I don’t think we can ever say that we’re the same as we were. I think every year offers a new opportunity to be someone we weren’t – whether that’s for the better of worse – and I think it’s up to us whether or not we take that chance. I’m pretty happy with who I am, right now. There’s always going to be a part of me that wishes I could just be a normal, happy, ignorant teenager, but I know that will never happen. I am who I am because of what I’ve been through. My views have changed, my priorities have changed, and yes, I’m very military-oriented. I love my country and I love my family. I’m not all about boys or the Jersey Shore or anything like that. My Heroes aren’t on TV or in music, my Heroes wear combat boots and dog tags. Maybe I won’t change the world, maybe I won’t ever be known by millions, but I’m okay with that because I like who I am. There’s always going to be a pain in my heart, but that pain is what keeps me in check. I found a quote earlier this year that I think perfectly sums up 2011 – “I’m not what I’ve done…I’m what I’ve overcome.”

Happy New Year!

Future

2011-10-20T17:48:00.000-04:00

It has been quite some time since I last did a post about writing. And even then, those posts were mainly about ME writing or just updating you on where I was with my current project. I honestly could not tell you the last time I wrote a post about writing in general. So let's see how rusty I've gotten, shall we?

First of all, I could update you on where I'm at with CATCH ME, since I am at a good stopping point.

Chapters: 8 (complete)
Pages: 73
Words: 23,504

And now that that's out of the way, I give you a little piece of what my mind has been like recently. But, you know, a little more coherent.

The future has been something I've really been thinking about. You know, it kind of just dawned on me that I can no longer say Oh, I still have plenty of time left to decide what I want to do with my life! I still have years of high school left! And while part of that is true, by sophomore year you should have a pretty good idea of what your educational plans are post-high school. I also always thought that I knew straight-up what I wanted to do. I knew I wanted to go to Ohio State and I knew that I wanted to get my degree to become a teacher. However, I had no idea what I wanted to major in or anything like that. And that thought absolutely terrified me! I've spent some time talking with my cousin who attended OSU and he said that majority of teachers majored in a math, science, or history. My three least favorite subjects. This, in turn, made me think about if teaching was actually the right career path for me.

Let me take a break here to mention something. YES. I STILL WANT TO BE AN AUTHOR. But there is pretty much no way that that is going to happen between now and college, and if it did, there's no way that I could solely support myself on my writing. I have always planned on getting a degree to fall back on, there is simply no way around it. I want to have a profession that I can use to support myself if need be. There will always be the chance that writing will not be enough. As much as that is a dream of mine, it's not a very sturdy dream. A degree is pretty essential.

Anyway, so like I was saying, I've been thrown into this debate about whether or not I really want to be a teacher. I love talking, I love helping kids, and I'd love to inspire others to love literature - whether that be reading or writing (or both). My mom was a teacher, and maybe that's why I've always felt like I HAD to go into that profession.

But as I've debated it, I've thought about what else I'd possibly like to be. Of course there's photographer and a journalist, but neither are very easy fields to go into and make much of a profit on. There's so many photography groups around and a lot end up barely getting by or end up closing because they can't. Journalist is an option that I would adore if I could go overseas and visit with the troops in Iraq and Afghanistan (if there's still a war going on when I get to that point - and I dearly hope there is not). But journalism isn't exactly what I enjoy writing. I've done it, on a small scale, but I never enjoyed Newspaper (club) as much as I did Power of the Pen (creative writing club).

And thus I thought about other things that interested me. I have become increasingly more obsessed with crime shows. I have a cousin who's a cop and I think his job is pretty awesome - even if (thankfully) he doesn't see a lot of action at work. Cops are pretty awesome and I've often wondered how I would like that job. But, I think I'm more in love with the IDEA of being a cop than actually BEING one. I know that the physical demands of it would likely not fit who I am. Plus I like to worry - well, okay, I don't LIKE to worry, but I do worry. A lot. So that's pretty much out of the question.

So I started thinking about careers that are similar to law enforcement. More specifically, lawyers.

And this idea greatly appealed to me.

But lawyers have to go through a lot of schooling. And I've read a law student's blog about how terrible 1L is and I remember thinking to myself Why would you put yourself through that? However, the more I've thought about it and the more I watch The Good Wife and Harry's Law the more the idea appeals to me. Yet I still wonder if this is the same thing I thought about with the cop idea. Am I more in love with the IDEA of being a lawyer than actually being one?

So while I've been thinking about that, I've also been thinking a lot about the insane amount of homework I have and how I could possibly manage to keep writing in my busy schedule.

And last night, my friend suggested that I do NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month). 50,000 words. One month. You're supposed to finish your novel in a month. Holy. Crap.

While I've often considered doing NaNoWriMo, I've always backed out because I knew that there was very slim chance that I could get through 50k words in a month - even doing the daily count. When I write, it's often words in the groups of hundreds - not thousands. My chapters are roughly 3,000 words a piece.

But I've also been thinking that NaNoWriMo could be just what I need. I've struggled this year to get into a good writing habit because of how crazy my life has been. Maybe I need this to force me to write. Any thoughts?

Actually, any thoughts on any of this?

And since I have completely wasted a good chunk of your time, I will stop now. :)

I'm Alive

2011-10-09T11:56:00.000-04:00

I feel that it is absolutely ridiculous that I haven't posted anything on this blog since September 3rd. I could give you any number of excuses and the sad truth of the matter is that I simply don't have time for much anymore.

I started my Sophomore year of high school in late August, and this year has been a HUGE adjustment. I have a lot more homework than I did last year - almost every subject every night. I have a lot of other responsibilities that I didn't have last year. Almost every weekend since school started I've had something going on. Whether it's been a family obligation or homecoming or something to honor Jimmy or other soldiers. It's definitely been crazy the past month and a half. I haven't even had much time to read.

As a result, this blog has fallen onto a back burner. I also have had to make sacrifices in my writing, that I'm not very happy about. I have been writing more poetry than anything for this reason. I would rather be writing Catch Me, but it's better to write something than nothing. I need to really figure out how to find time for writing because it is really bothering me that I can't fit it in. The longer I stay away, the more my writing skills tend to diminish until I get back into the swing of actually writing.

Alas, I still have homework to finish so I will end this post now. I hope you all are having a great weekend.

Sweetly by Jackson Pearce

2011-09-03T11:05:00.000-04:00

I was so lucky to get an ARC of "Sweetly" by Jackson Pearce. I have always loved Jackson Pearce, even before her first book, "As You Wish", was released. I read AYW in one day and read "Sisters Red" rather quickly, so I had high expectations for this book. I was not disappointed. "Sweetly" was one of the best books I have read. I like that there are similarities between SR and S, beyond the fact that they are fairy-tale spin offs. There is one sibling that is able to move on from tradgedy and live their own life, the other sibling is unable to do so and has to continue to do something. Personally, I would pick "Sweetly" over SR. It may just be because "Sweetly" had more romance in it, but I loved this story. I couldn't put it down. I found myself saying "I'll just read this next chapter, it's only x many pages, then I'll go do whatever" - and the next thing I knew, I had read four or more chapters.

What I liked most about this book, I think, was that Gretchen, while dedicated to fighting the "witch" and protecting the people she loves, she was also still able to have a life of her own. In SR, Scarlet was completely focused on fighting the Fenris, so much so that she never allowed herself to fall in love or have a hobby. But Gretchen still lets herself do that stuff. Throughout this novel we see Gretchen go from being a scared little girl to a strong woman that can defend herself and do what needs to be done.

However, I think this novel also illustrates another type of growth - a growth in the author. This novel really showed me a growth in Jackson Pearce's voice as an author. I think that Pearce has improved her writing skills since her first novel was released, and I wasn't sure if she could get any better. I'm not just saying this because she's one of my favorite authors or because I've met her. This novel made me so proud of her because of the sheer beauty of this novel. If this novel doesn't go to the New York Time's Best Seller List, I don't know what is wrong with America.

Job well done, Jackson Pearce. I am eager to see you go even farther in your career. "Sweetly" is definitely one of my favorite books and I am pretty sure I will be re-reading it sooner or later (and I NEVER re-read books)!

Golden Healer, Dark Enchantress by Christine E. Schulze

2011-09-03T11:01:00.000-04:00

I would first off like to say that I am very greatful to the author for sending me this book. The subject of vampires automatically drew me, as well as the line on the back of the book: "Are you afraid?".

I was intrigued by the story itself, but at times I felt like the main character was a bit too perfect. She was a perfect student, a perfect Christian, a perfect everything (and someone who blushed - a lot). I was a bit iffy about the whole idea of Christian vampires, not many books incorperate religion anymore - definitely not many stories about vampires and other mythical creatures, including faries, elves, and the like. So that to me, as a Christian, was interesting, but also a little bit odd just because I usually don't read Christian books for the sake of that I don't share 100% of the Christian beliefs. However, I think the storyline itself was pretty good - the pacing near the end was a bit fast, but not too fast. It was a bit predictable at the end as to what was going to happen and who was going to be who, but I think the author definitely has potential to go on and further her career and better herself as a writer.

All in all, I give this book 3/5 stars. I couldn't completely relate to the characters, but I still thought the story was entertaining.

Darker Still by Leanna Renee Hieber

2011-09-02T17:27:00.001-04:00

I should first off say that this review will contain no spoilers as this book is not being released until November 2011 - although it is a crime to make someone wait that long to read this wonderful piece of pure art. I should also say that I am very much in love with the writing of Miss Hieber, and as such I may appear a little biased. But I assure you, this review is meant wholeheartedly and with the mind that I have never before met and/or heard of Leanna Renee Hieber. To give a false review is to lie to the author - and it's ten times worse than to say "oh, your child is so cute!" when in fact, it is not. With that said...

I started this book a couple of weeks ago with the hopes of finishing it before I was to be thrown back into the havic that is high school. This, however, did not happen and therefore has taken me longer to complete. I have spent a lot of my study hall time reading this book, wishing that first period would last all day so that I could just sit and read. But I should start at the beginning.

The novel appealed to me from the first time I heard the premise of the story. The phrase that Hieber uses with signing this novel is "Find your voice", and the deadication is to those who have ever struggled to do so and to be heard, this too intrigued me further as this is a obstacle that I often struggle with - although not physically. The narrator of this "diary" is Natalie Stewart, a 17 year old mute, home from having completed school. Her father, being a single parent, has no idea what to do with his "unfortunate" daughter (this being 19th century New York). Mr. Stewart, being an employee of the Museum of Art comes across the story of a painting coming to town - with quite a contriversial reputation. The portrait of young Lord Denbury is said to be haunted, that as you stand before his likeliness you can feel a sort of presence - as if his very soul lingers with the painting. Lord Denbury, after losing his parents, was presumed dead by suicide shortly after the painting had been comissioned. Natalie is taken with the story of the painting, having always been interested in the supernatural, having been aware of a sort of whisper since she was young. She tells her father that she would like to be employed at the museum as well - mainly so that she can be around the painting. Her father, seeing this as a suitable plan, agrees. They come in contact with the owner of the painting - Mrs. Evelyn Northe.

Natalie is even more taken with the painting than she had thought, the very sight of Lord Denbury giving her chills, and not just from the cool air that surrounds the painting. Although, one day she sees a figure that looks like Lord Denbury, save for the eyes.

As the story progresses, Natalie and Mrs. Northe realize that there is something, indeed, magical and mysterious about this portrait. Together, they set out to solve this mystery. The painting changes, as if Lord Denbury is summoning Natalie into his world. With a step, her life changes. Both good and terrible things are instore for Miss Stewart, but perhaps, she has found a reason to speak. And maybe, just maybe, she has at last found her voice.

P.S. If anybody may come across such a man as Lord Denbury...DIBS!

P.S.S. I honestly, 100% loved this book. PLEASE read it when it comes out this November!! (My name's in the back :) )

City of Bones by Cassandra Clare

2011-07-12T19:49:00.000-04:00

I am going to skip around a little bit and review this book because I just finished it today and really want to do an in-depth review of this book.

I started reading this book with pretty high expectations after hearing friend after friend telling me how AWESOME the Mortal Instruments series was and how I HAD to read this book. Usually the people that told me that and I shared a lot of common interest in books and we usually loved a lot of the same books - new or old - and the characters from these stories.

This book, however, was different.

I had started this book probably back in April of this year and got about half way through it. At that point, another book that I really wanted to read came out so I put CoB on hold. Mind you, half way through CoB is about 200 pages in. I knew then that this book wasn't going to make my favorites list. I sat it down 200 pages in. I found that I had no want to go back to this story, I occasionally remembered that I should finish it and wondered what would happen between Jace and Clary and if Jace would finally kiss Clary, but it wasn't a strong enough drive to get me to pick it up again.

Recently, I got an Advanced Reader Copy of "Sweetly" by Jackson Pearce (coming out this August) and I was also preparing to read my book for class ("A Separate Peace" by John Knowles). I decided that I wanted to have "Sweetly" to read on the beach because it seemed like it would be a good book to read on the beach. So I decided I'd break up ASP into sections to read each day, but I also knew that I needed to tie up some loose ends with Jace and Clary. So I sectioned off the rest of the book so that I would finish by the time I left for vacation. I found myself sometimes reading more than just that day's section and getting ahead of my schedule. Which was good - but it took me until about page 300 to really care what happened.

I think sometimes I would get distracted by the way that Clare wrote. Maybe I just notices changes of "voice" more because I write, but it seemed to me that she was trying to mix two different eras together - the Victorian and modern - one of which wasn't even the era in which the oldest characters lived. At one point, she had Jace speaking like Hodge, his mentor/tutor, and it didn't work for Jace. Jace was always a modern, sarcastic character who was probably the most realistic character to me, and having him speak like he was some Old English professor didn't work.

I also struggled to relate to the main character. And while I know that it's often hard to relate to characters based on what they're going through, in such a fantastical story I think it is essential that the reader connects to the character through whose eyes we see. With Clary I felt that she was pretty quick to accept the Shadow World, that she saw things that others didn't, that her mother had been taken by demons, that Jace and his friends fought demons and down worlders. She seemed quick to learn things, without us really remembering her learning them. She was just really okay with the whole change, and that kind of bothered me. She didn't give a reason for her justifying this new world, not even that believing in it could mean saving her mother. She just kind of went with it like vampires, werewolves, fairies, and the like were completely normal things. Granted, Clary did get freaked out by some of it, but only when it confronted her.

I also really had a problem with the way this book was spaced. It all seemed like it took forever for them to accomplish their mission, when it only took two weeks. The characters hardly slept or ate or took a shower. Sometimes I felt like it was one thing after another and that I, too, was tired. They didn't really seem to slow down. I don't know if that was for the sake of the plot line or what, but it seemed a bit of a stretch for me. Not to mention that Clary was away from her mother for two weeks and yet she rarely thought about her. She didn't cry for her, didn't miss her as much as I expected. She didn't know if her mother was alive or dead and yet she focused on Jace and Simon and other things. If I were her, I think my attention would have been focused on my mother the whole time.

I was really taken aback by the ending, because at that point I did care about the characters, or at least about what happened to them. I didn't like the ending at all. It kind of ruined the whole book for me. I will admit, this book wasn't as bad as this review makes it sound. I did laugh a lot while reading it, and I did have times where I didn't want to put it down - but I just wish it hadn't taken me 300 pages to get to that level in our relationship. I don't see myself reading the next books in this series anytime soon.

I rate this book a 3/5 stars. Not the worst book I've ever read, but definitely not one of my favorites.

Looking for Alaska by John Green

2011-06-27T15:57:00.000-04:00

It's been a while since I reviewed a book and so I thought I would review Looking for Alaska by John Green. This book was absolutely amazing - probably one of my favorite books. Here's the "review" I did of it for class.

WARNING: THIS REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS!

The novel, “Looking for Alaska by John Green, really struck a personal chord in me. It wasn’t until about half way through the book, but it definitely hit me hard because the way that the main character, Pudge, reacted and some of his thoughts really mirrored my own.

One night Pudge is in his friend, Alaska’s, room watching her and his other friend, known as The Colonel, drink. They all fall asleep in Alaska’s room, until the phone ringing wakes Alaska up. Pudge and the Colonel don’t really wake up until Alaska comes back into the room sobbing, saying how she always messes things up. She asks her friends to help get her off campus, that she has to get away. They agree to set off fireworks so the dean will be distracted. And, even though they know that she’s been drinking, because they don’t want to deal with her drama, they let her drive. They let her go.

The next morning, the whole school is called into the gym for a meeting. Pudge is looking everywhere, telling the dean that they can’t start without Alaska. Where’s Alaska? Alaska has to be here somewhere. They can’t start without Alaska. But Pudge can’t find her anywhere. Alaska is not there. The dean then announces that Alaska has been in a terrible car crash, one that claimed her life. Alaska Young died.

Pudge’s reaction was the first thing I could connect to. At first he was just in body-paralyzing shock, much like I was when I was first told that my cousin, Jimmy, had been killed in Afghanistan. Pudge couldn’t make things real, he couldn’t cry right then, and I couldn’t either. Then he just wanted to throw up, but just dry-heaved, which I did several times in the aftermath of the news. Pudge then reasoned that this wasn’t real, that Alaska had to still be alive, she couldn’t be dead, much like I was convinced that the news of Jim being killed in action was all a dream. Because Jim has to come home – he always comes home. Just like Alaska always lives, she’s free, she’s wild, but she always lives. She couldn’t be dead.

Some of Pudge’s thoughts mirrored my own. His loss of Alaska was very much like when I lost Jimmy. He thought about things a lot like I did. He asked the same questions of “Why them?” or “Why couldn’t it have been me?” Pudge also wanted to believe that he was the most affected by Alaska’s death, when he knew he wasn’t. I didn’t really think this, but sometimes it feels like I’m the only one still struggling to deal with it.

When Pudge realizes that he is alive, even without Alaska, it hit home really hard. It took me a long time to realize that I’m still alive, and even though it sucks without Jim, it’s still better than being dead. I may never be the same person I was, but I’m still breathing, living, crying, feeling, and loving. And I think that was John Green’s point – life sucks sometimes, but it beats not living at all. And even when we experience death, the pain is still better than leaving this life behind.

This book was seriously amazing. I was afraid that I wouldn't like John Green's books when I started reading LfA. I already had grown to love John Green by his videos on YouTube and I knew that he was a funny guy. But my fears were unjustified - this book definitely has a special place in my heart and I cannot wait to read more John Green books.

Update #3

2011-06-21T16:34:00.000-04:00

Pages: 39
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,807

Hopefully I will be starting Chapter Five soon and that's the chapter where I get to really dig into the paranormal! So excited and I'm actually feeling okay with writing right now. I'm also currently reading Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert at the moment, so I'm thinking that has something to do with my mood.

Anyway, I want to thank you guys for sticking with me!

Happy first day of Summer - even if it is pretty stormy here.

Writing

2011-06-09T14:50:00.000-04:00

Writing has made me face a lot of my demons - even before I started writing CATCH ME. When I began writing in January of 2008, I had no idea of the struggles that I would face, whether they be internal or external. Over the few years I've been writing I've faced a lot of negativity from various people - relatives, friends, the like - and I've also faced self doubt within myself. And I can't say that all of that doubt has come from other people's comments, because I know there's a part of me that wonders why I couldn't have just been a normal teenager, who obsesses over boys and clothes and other trivial things. I've never been a "normal" girl. For pretty much my whole life, my maturity level has been much higher than most my age. Because of this, it really bothers me when people put other people down just to make themselves feel better. It's something that I've just never understood the point of. Why would you do that? It just seems pointless to me. Whatever happened to the Golden Rule (treat others how you wish to be treated) or "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all"? I know that it's hard to hold your tongue sometimes when someone is really getting under your skin, and I'll admit that I'm not always the best at this. If someone is continuously getting to me, I eventually will snap at them, especially if they, even inadvertently, insult my family or are saying something that is COMPLETELY untrue.

I know that I'm kind of rambling and ranting, but here's the fact of the matter (and I'm pretty sure I've blogged about this before - in fact, I'm positive I have): People are who they are. YOU can't change THEM. If you don't like who someone is or what they stand for, then you can choose to walk away from them. It is not right to ask them to walk away from themselves for you. Even if you cannot accept part of them, you should not ask them to change that part of them. Either learn to accept who they are, the parts you don't like and all, or walk away from them. If you cannot accept them, it's unfair to them to have you be in their life because you will, even unintentionally bring them down and make them change something that they don't necessarily want to change.

Here's an example, I write. I want to write. I want to write what I want to write - what I need to write. You cannot control what I write about, you cannot make me want to not write about this. You cannot make me not want to write period. I am who I am, I do what I do. I don't fit a mold because I am me. If I'm not who you want me to be, get over it. Accept me or leave me. If you accept me, good - I'm glad to have you. Just truly accept me and don't just tell me you do. If you choose to walk out of my life, it's for the better. If you're going to do nothing but tell me I can't do something, tell me that I shouldn't do the things I do, or tell me that you don't want me to reach my dreams or whatever the case may be, I don't want you in my life.

I'm sorry that I keep ranting on this subject, it's just something that I'm dealing with a lot lately. I thought summer vacation would offer me a break from this, and in some ways it has, but it hasn't completely. There are always going to be people telling me I shouldn't do this, I shouldn't go through this again, that I should let go now. But here's the thing: I can't do that yet. I have some unpaid debts to pay, some loose ends to tie up, and some broken promises to amend as well as some promises to keep. And until all of that is done, I will not stop this.

Accept me or leave me; Your choice.

This is aimed at no one in particular, just in general. I just get really angered by this really easily. I'm going to try to stop blogging about this subject, it's just something that I'm tired of dealing with. I'm sorry.

One year ago

2011-05-26T16:40:00.000-04:00

One year ago today I wrote a poem - and I never shared it publicly on this blog or anywhere else.

Most of my family has read it, or at least have heard it, but this a poem I wrote for Jimmy last May for my class' "poetry coffee house". Jimmy never got to read this because I never got around to sending him a care package for his birthday, and I didn't want him to read it in an email. I was going to post this on his birthday (the 24th), but I just wasn't in the mood.

I love you, Jimmy.

When All Words Fail Me

(My Strong Soldier)

5-26-10

Planes and flights come and go
As do the people.
How many times did I pray
That he’d never be part of this number?

He’s already been included twice,
But that was for Iraq.
Why him, why his unit?
Afghanistan this time.

How do I say goodbye,
Not knowing if I’ll see him again?
How can he bring himself to leave
Knowing he might not come back?

Does he ever feel too afraid to carry on?
Does he ever feel all hope is lost?
Does he even realize how dangerous it is?
Does he remember what he’s fighting for?

Of course he’s scared
But he keeps fighting.
Of course he realizes the danger.
And he definitely knows what he’s fighting for.

He’s fighting for his parents,
His wife,
His kids.
Me.

So how do I repay him?
A thank you be not sufficient?
How do I tell him that I forever owe him?
That I don’t deserve it?

When all words fail me,
And tears begin to fill the void,
I’ll look away, not letting him see,
And embrace my strong soldier.

So, God, I ask
When will the war end?
And when will we all realize
That we’re all human beings?

Be we American or Middle-Eastern
Does it really matter?
We’re all just people,
Fighting for the country which we love.

God, let the war end
And keep my strong soldier safe.
Bring him home to me.
So I’ll never have to say goodbye again.

Causes

2011-05-19T17:50:00.000-04:00

There are so many causes out there - it's impossible to pick just one to be dedicated to. I think a big part in determining which cause we become most involved with is what we've been through and therefore what's personal to us.

Before you continue reading this, let me stress that this is not meant in a mean way. This is just my opinion and I am NOT saying that I don't feel bad for other countries' problems caused by disasters.

The past few weeks, we have had a lady selling wristbands for Japan Tsunami relief efforts - Which is a great idea, and a great way to raise money to help. I don't know how much money she ended up raising, but I'd say she made a pretty good chunk of money for Japan. Today at the assembly we had to recognize the efforts she was making to help Japan, she said "Please do not forget about Japan. Even though the media only focuses on it for a few days, a week maybe, it doesn't mean things there are all better. Japan still needs your support, help, and prayers. Please, do not forget about Japan."

And while I agree that Japan is definitely still in bad shape and definitely still needs help rebuilding, I think that we as a population have become more involved in other countries' problems and supporting those causes than we have our own.

The media doesn't focus as much on our Troops overseas anymore - definitely not the ones still in Iraq (By the way THERE ARE STILL TROOPS IN IRAQ. IF SOMEONE TELLS YOU THAT WAR IS OVER - THEY ARE WRONG.). We as Americans don't tend to openly support our troops because somewhere along these past years, supporting our troops means you support the war. Just because you support our troops doesn't mean that you support the war. I know that war was necessary at the time, but I don't like the fact that we're still there - that our men and women are still dying for our freedom there, that my cousin's there now. It makes me worry that our soldiers think that we have forgotten them. I would do anything to change this, even in just a small way.

At the same time that wristbands were being sold for Japan, I had student council organize a drive for the Thank You Foundation - a local organization that collects supplies of all sorts to send to the Troops overseas. Almost everyone in every single one of my classes was wearing a "Gaman" band, but my class didn't even completely fill one box of supplies for the troops. I'm not saying that Japan relief isn't important, because I know it is, I'm just saying that if we didn't have Troops defending us, protecting us, we wouldn't even be able to care about other causes. Our FREEDOM is what allows us to do that.

I guess the point I'm trying to make is, America, we need to take care of our own First. And, yes, I'm begging you PLEASE DO NOT FORGET ABOUT OUR SOLDIERS.

So in honor of Armed Forces Month and Armed Forces Day this coming Saturday and Memorial Day on the 30th, I ask you, please just take a minute of your day to say "Thank You" to a soldier you know - or if you see one out and about. And if you have time, find out how you can get involved with an organization near you that supports our Troops.

P.S. Did you know that there are still hundreds of thousands of AMERICAN soldiers missing from the Vietnam and Korean wars?

Rantish-type-thing

2011-05-13T20:54:00.000-04:00

Judgement.

I'm not a fan. Whether the judgement is coming from a teacher, a friend, a family member, or a peer, it's not fair. A lot of people have judged me the past few months as to how I have dealt with things, how I have responded to things, and how I continue to...cope with things. And while I have come to know which people to avoid subjects with, sometimes it slips up and appears into our conversation - even if it's not our conversation and they just overhear. This is probably making no sense to you guys whatsoever, but what I'm trying to say is, I'm me. I can't change me. Yes, other things have changed who I am, but I can't change the way that I react to things, how I deal with things, or how I cope with things. All of these things are a part of who I am that cannot be changed by myself. And therefore, you can't change them either.

So there's this guy (for my over-protective family reading this - it is NOT a boyfriend. FAR from it.) and I've known him since the 5th grade. I'm not going to tell you his name, I'll simply call him D. So basically, when I first decided that I wanted to be a writer, I was very open about it - until I wondered if there was a reason to be embarrassed about it. I wanted to tell all my friends that I wanted to write, that I wanted to write a book, that I wanted to be an author, and I wanted them to be happy for me. A lot of them were - D wasn't. He asked me what exactly I meant by "I'm writing" and what I was writing. I told him that I was writing a book. He told me "Right, like anyone would read that" or "Right, like that'll ever happen" or something along those lines. (The book was terrible, but that's besides the point.) That, in my opinion, made me become shy about my writing. I didn't like talking about it. It's only been recently that I've become even slightly comfortable talking about it with people - and even still it's very few people. I know that with what I'm writing now, that I'm going to need all the support I can get, but I still haven't told but a few people in my family what I'm writing about - and if they know, chances are they know because they read this blog.

D has been a bit of a debby-downer the whole time I've known him, but since my brother is friends with him, he's associated himself with me. It wasn't really a choice I made, so much as he made. Our personalities don't really mix well, and he simply doesn't care about the things I do. He's much more focused on band or getting a good solo or something like that - and he gets way too stressed out about the little things. And while I understand they are important to him, I think he finds these things really important because he's never experienced real pain, and therefore never realized what's really important.

My view on a lot of things has changed this year. I've found out who my true friends are, who I can count on, who I can talk to, and who is just going to judge me for...being me. D has made a few remarks about the button I wear of Jimmy, the metal bracelet my uncle gave me with Jim's information on it (which you're not really supposed to take off...), and the patrol cap liner that I carry with me, etc. He doesn't understand how nearly 9 months after everything happened that I could still possibly miss Jimmy or even still be grieving. I'm not completely sure that grieving process ever ends, to be honest, and if it does, I don't think there's a set limit because everyone is different. Today, however, D made a remark, well, gesture would be a better word, that really hurt me - worse than when he first told me that no one would read the stuff I wrote. A girl in my art class asked me what I was writing about now (we were talking about my longer projects/book-things) and I told her that I was writing about my cousin and how things have changed in my life, etc. as well as the fact that in my story, Jimmy comes back as a ghost and he has unfinished business that he wants to have taken care of. She was really interested in it and was talking about how she LOVES ghost stories. This was a fun conversation for me - I love talking about this project when I don't have to explain things in great detail. Then D had to remark in his monotone, disapproving voice "Uh, which cousin are you writing about again?" I sighed - I knew he already knew - and said "Jimmy." He glared at me. I said "D if you're glaring at me I swear..." and then I went back to talking to the girl.

I understand that this might not seem like a big deal to anyone else, but I'm writing this because I need to - not because it's the most comfortable thing to write about or because it's something that makes me happy. I'm tired of being judged for this. Jimmy was like a big-brother to me, and if you can't respect that I miss him every day and that yes, sometimes I still cry about it, then I don't understand how you can honestly call yourself my friend - and I'm not sure that I consider D my friend.

And then he had to go make a remark about me texting my uncle all the time. I told him he was going to be driving a lot these next few days so I wouldn't get to talk to him a whole lot and he said "It'll be good for you - maybe you can make some friends your own age." GAH. Do. Not. Diss. My. Biker. Dude.

And while I understand that nobody's opinion of me should matter, it's what I think of myself, it still doesn't make hearing this any easier. I respect myself, I wish I were a little stronger, I'm pretty happy with the head on my shoulders (however screwed up it may be).

Other than that long rant, I hope you all have a great weekend.

Leanna Renee Hieber is Awesome

2011-05-06T16:11:00.001-04:00

part of this was written on Thursday, the other part today (Friday)

So even though the title is pretty much self-explanatory, I still would like to try to explain to you just how awesome Leanna Renee Hieber is. I'm not completely sure if it can be put into words. My attempt will probably fail, but I'm going to give it my best shot.

Leanna's third installment of the Strangely Beautiful Tale of Miss Percy Parker (The Perilous Prophecy of Guard and Goddess) was released this past Tuesday, and the local signing was tonight. I was pretty down-right excited for this book, even though I usually have a hard time reading prequels. The fact that these are totally different characters really interests me and after listening to Leanna read a portion of it at the signing, I just wish I could listen to her read the whole book. She's so theatrical and such a great speaker, she's going to have to do my readings at my book signings (hopefully, one day) because that is a skill I definitely lack. :)

I love that Leanna is so down-to-earth and she deeply cares about her readers. She's so incredible, not only in what she writes and how she speaks, but also by the size of her heart. I don't know the last time someone held a meaningful conversation with me about writing and the challenges of writing - not only paranormal, but also with just the difficulties of jumping from one world to the next. I am so excited to get writing more, and maybe it just took a kick from her to get a part of me back that I've so desperately been missing. I feel like since last August, I've slowly been losing part of me each day, instead of getting parts of me back. I used to read and write all the time, and now I don't have the motivation to do that. But now, I just want to stay up all night and write. (Too bad it's Thursday...) Maybe it's just that I'm still afraid that if I don't write that Leanna's ghosts will haunt me, or maybe it's just that I remember who I was when I last read these books last year, or maybe I just have been reminded of how inspirational Leanna is to me. Being from Small Town Ohio, it's really hard to find someone that has accomplished the things they most want, such as being published.

Meeting Leanna has been a huge blessing in my life, she makes me feel like I can honestly do anything that I want with my life. Although everybody has always told me that since I started writing it, I honestly never really believed that until last night. This is something that I can never thank Leanna for enough. She has either given me or given me back a piece of myself that I never realized I had or never realized I was missing. She is just truly amazing.

And, Leanna, if you're reading this, I hope you know that I can never repay you for everything you've done for me - I cherish all of the material things, as well as the 'spiritual' ones - but I will surely try my hardest to pay you back. I love you.

I'm sorry

2011-05-01T16:49:00.000-04:00

I'm sorry that I've been such a bad blogger lately. It's not really that I've been busy, in fact I haven't had that much going on. I've just been really lazy and have had a lot of school work to do or I've just been really tired. I might be making excuses for not writing, but I've always done that, have I not?

So, in a desperate attempt to make up for my lack of blogging, I will post a poem I wrote that has a lot to do with my current novel/project. In fact, it's written about the same event where my (current) title comes from. So I hope you like it.

Catch Me

A gentle quick lift,

As if effortless.
Swing one leg over,
And I'm on top of the world.

I laugh, looking down
At the grass so far down.
You try to hide it,
But you're smiling too.

You tell me you'll flip me
Backwards off your back.
Part of me believes you
Really will.

You promise me
You won't let me fall,
That you'll catch me.
You promise.

You swing one leg
Back over,
And maneuver me somehow
So that I'm falling.

I brace myself to
Meet the ground.
But your arms are around me.
You caught me.

That is the best feeling,
Pressed in your chest,
Smiling at the thought,
As your strong arms hold me.

You kept your promise.
My eyes water, realizing
You loved me enough to
Catch Me.

Have a great week, I'll probably be blogging later this week at some point.

Hanna

Blogging vs Writing

2011-04-16T10:36:00.000-04:00

Pray for LCPL Tyler McNabb

(My cousin in the USMC deployed yesterday to Japan for a month, then Afghanistan to finish his deployment)

I've had a really rough time lately finding the motivation to write. I know that sounds really bad. I'm the one who decided that I wanted - needed - to write this. But it's hard, which I know, is a really lame excuse. So many of the things I'm writing about right now are the things that I've worked so hard to keep suppressed and that I numbed myself to them when they were happening, not to mention the fact that I never really let myself think about them afterwards. Maybe that's where my problem is lying. I'm not wanting to evoke these things that could make my dad go so far south that when I wake up, I still haven't made it completely north again.

I'm not sure if this is making any sense at all, and maybe I'm writing this only for myself. But hey, most of what I post here is just that. Although, I love each and everyone of you that still read this no matter how much I might complain on here.

So for those of you that read this that are writers, how do you guys get motivated? It's like, I want to write, but when I sit down to do it...I just can't. I know the easy fix would be that I should just write something else, but to me, this is the story I need to tell right now. I don't think I can ever move forward in any way if I don't write this, if I don't allow myself to go back and "un-numb" myself when things were happening. (Again, this is probably making no sense.) I told myself that it'd be okay if this draft sucked, because all first drafts do (I should have learned that from the first draft of SOLACE) - that all I wanted to do was do this draft quick like a band-aid, then I could go more in depth and polish it in future drafts. But that's not happening.

So, any motivation ideas??

Have a great weekend!
Hanna

I Am From

2011-04-08T15:25:00.001-04:00

We had to write an "I Am From" poem in English (I messed up and didn't write mine on a character from To Kill A Mockingbird, but instead wrote one on myself - I wrote one on Scout after realizing this). I thought I'd post it here to share with you all to end this beautiful week.

I am from a super-sized family.

From Easters spent at Granny's.

From a Harley ride with my Biker Dude.

I am from the best country on earth,

From brave men that have fought and died for Her.

From an undying Faith that He will provide.

I am from countless memories,

From laughing until we cried,

From crying until we had to laugh.

I am from my Mamaw's dumplings,

From cousins eating them right off my plate.

From my Papaw's pecan pie for dessert.

I am from lazy days spent reading,

From free time spent writing,

From dreaming of making my family proud.

I am from the mother I never knew,

From the family I'll always love,

From the place I know I'll always belong.

Write your own "I Am From" poem and post it below in the comments!!

Happy weekend. :)

P.S. In acknowledgement of Congress' rediculous idea to cut military pay in half, to them I say - who exactly do you want defending you and your freedom to be an idiot - soldiers who believe their job is important (because it is) or angry soldiers who hate the people who pay them because they are RISKING THEIR LIVES and are only getting paid half of what they were getting paid? Honestly, how is this even a good idea? Military men and women aren't paid enough already as it is and to dock their pay...seriously, there aren't words to describe how stupid that is!! I could use some very foul language right now toward you, Congress, but honestly, I'm not going to waste my time or energy. I'll just say this: My family has fought for this country for as long as I can remember. My closest cousin GAVE HIS LIFE for this country. BECAUSE THEY LOVE IT. THEY DON'T DESERVE THIS. TAKE AWAY YOUR PAY BEFORE YOU TAKE AWAY THEIRS. YOU'RE THE ONES THAT GOT US INTO THIS MESS - YOU SUFFER THE COINCEQUENCES UNTIL YOU CAN FIX IT! GOT IT????

*end rant*

Spring Break and a Reason

2011-04-03T12:18:00.001-04:00

So this has been a pretty good (cold) spring break. It was really different not going out of town this year. Although, it was kind of nice not having to pack a suitcase full of clothes, not sure of what the weather would actually be like, and lugging my laptop there only to find that the wi-fi doesn't work. It was also kind of nice to do local stuff. I think a lot of the time Ohio gets a bad rap for being boring or having little to do or for mostly being populated by corn. I will be the first to admit that Ohioans don't deny this a lot. But there are some pretty fun things you can do around Ohio, and depending on your area, you might be able to find something really cool. If you go to Columbus, you'll probably find more to do than if you stay in a small-town, or even Cincinnati.

Even though it's been an eventful spring break, I still am really dreading going back to school. I know I get like this after every break, but I just don't want to go back to putting up with certain people's crap at school. There are some people that just know how to get under my skin and some of them happen to be in a few of my classes - which is never a good thing. Usually by the end of the day, they've said something that makes me want to go home and text my uncle (who's like my bff) and tell him how stupid these people are. He's pretty great for putting up with it. :)

I had plans to spend this break reading and writing. I've done some reading, definitely not as much as I had hoped. And I've written a whopping total of 1,071 words this week - which equals around four pages. I've had some road bumps that have made me really not want to write, that have made me question why I'm writing what I'm writing, and have made me really wonder about certain aspects of my life. And maybe I haven't been all too clear about why I'm writing this for my cousin. And while I feel that it shouldn't matter to anybody but me, I feel that I have to explain it, because people just aren't getting it.

I owe so much to all of our service men and women, for putting their lives on the line for me every single day. I have service members in my family - retired veterans, currently serving soldiers, and, as you're probably aware, a soldier that gave his life for this country. The men and women who give their all, literally, for this country and our freedom are the people I owe the most to. I haven't had the privilege to know a lot of these men and women or their families, but I did know my cousin that laid down his life for me. I know his story - because his story is part of mine. I know who he was - is - and I know how much I loved him. I can't claim to know his feelings toward me, but I know that my cousin loved me. I know that he isn't the most famous soldier out there, I know that not many people are aware of his sacrifice, and I know that some of you might not even care that I'm a Gold Star Cousin. But I feel Jimmy's story needs to be told - in some shape or form. Granted, this isn't so much about his story before Afghanistan, so much as after and the aftermath of the earthquake that was his death. My uncle told me the other day that this isn't obsession, as some seem to view it as, it's passion. Obsession and passion are two very different things. I've always been told that if you're passionate about something - DO IT. So that's what I'm doing. In some odd way, Jimmy got me writing. If he hadn't been so adamant about people not being at his homecomings, I might have never started writing what I did, and if I hadn't, who knows, I might never have given writing another go after that first night I sat down at the computer and wrote a note to myself saying that I wanted to write. I have always know that I owed Jimmy so much - for his service to our country, for being such an awesome cousin, for making me who I am, and, in an odd way, for inspiring me. I don't like to leave debts unpaid.

That's why I'm writing this. And while I know that I can never completely repay Jim, I don't know of another way to start making those payments.

Spring Break (so far)

2011-03-28T18:23:00.000-04:00

(They finally got Jim's stone set last Monday night. It's amazingly beautiful)

Today is my first official day of spring break and it has been very eventful thus far.

This morning we went to the Cincinnati Museum Center and saw "Tornado Alley" in omnimax. It was really cool and based off of the show "Storm Chasers", which I've always enjoyed watching. When we bought our tickets yesterday online, I knew that the guy from the show, Sean Casey, and his Tornado Intercept Vehicle (the TIV) were going to be at the CMC, which excited me greatly. If you don't remember, I'm a geek and have odd fandom moments...like when I met the weather-man. When I finally got up to meet him and got to see the TIV all up-close and personal, I was kind of freaking out inside. Then I got to take a picture with HIM in front of the TIV and I mean, he wasn't shy about posing with you at all. So as he had his arm around me, and I him, I was thinking in my mind Oh. My. God. Sean Casey. From "Storm Chasers". Next to me. Arm around me. OhMyGodOhMyGodOhMyGodOhMyGod. And then it was over, but I got a poster signed by him and the TIV meteorologist. Which is hanging on my wall. :)

When we were on our way there, though, there was a really bad accident where a guy was just driving along and a semi truck's wheel crossed over the median and crashed into his window, killing him. Traffic was horrible, but you know, a lot of times we don't stop to think about what's causing the traffic. The only thing that we think about is how long we've basically been sitting still, how late we're going to be to wherever we're going or how mad someone will be at us if we are late. And I'll admit I'm guilty of this too. And so when I heard what had happened while still sitting in traffic it really struck me. You know, that could have been us. Had we gotten on the highway about an hour earlier, it could have been us. Going into a day, you have no idea what is going to happen. And that's scary. But you also never know what the people around you are going through. The man killed was twenty-two.

As we continued our drive, I looked around at all the old houses and wondered about random things. This might be creepy, but I think about the people who live there and the people who have lived there and what their story is. Especially if we pass an old cemetery - I think a lot about the people who are buried there. The graves you can hardly read anymore probably intrigue me the most. It's kind of sad to think that these people probably had family come visit their grave often when they first died, now they probably get no visitors. It's odd to think that after we're gone, life continues to go on, until eventually no one on this planet knows you existed.

On a happier note, my cousins came over after I got home from the CMC. I made macaroni art for my cousin Johnny's birthday and so he, his fiancee, and their son came over and stayed for a little over an hour. Always love to see them.

Hope everybody's spring is off to a good start!

Hanna

Dear Kentucky

2011-03-26T12:35:00.000-04:00

Dear Kentucky Wildcats' Basketball Team,

I no longer will root for you. Ohio State should have won. Goodbye.

Hanna.

DC

2011-03-22T15:41:00.000-04:00

So for those of you who have been following this blog for a over a year, I have some long over-due news.

If you recall, in October of 2009 I went to Washington DC as part of the 8th grade trip with my school. Well, Sunday I finally dropped off my disposable cameras to be developed - it's about time, right? I haven't seen any of these pictures, obviously, so I'm uber excited to see what they turn out to be. I'm really hoping I got some cool pictures of Arlington and other patriotic places. I tried to, but I'm just really hoping they turn out. It seems like such a long time ago that I went to DC, hopefully the pictures will bring back a lot of memories, some that I most likely may have forgotten.

So I'm really excited and whenever I get them back I'll try to scan the coolest ones and post them here. I should be picking them up on Saturday.

SO EXCITED!

Hope you guys had a better Tuesday than I did. Kid Rock got his adjectives reversed for Monday and Tuesday in this song:

If you guys haven't bought this albulm, you should. It's much better than his other stuff, in my opinion.

Much love,
Hanna

p.s. HAPPY SPRING!! Spring's off to a pretty good start for me - how about you guys?

Family Time

2011-03-18T21:50:00.000-04:00

Tonight we had a little get-together with my Dad's side of the family which I hardly ever get to see. My dad's cousins were visiting from Texas and they don't get to come in town too often. So as my family was coming over, I quickly realized that I couldn't remember how everybody fit together. Most people I could identify as certain puzzle pieces of our family, but finding the other pieces they adjoined to and making those connections was a process, that I'm a little embarrassed to say, took roughly the whole entirety of the shin-dig. (I think I totally just lost merit in the level of "cool-ness" by saying "shin-dig" Oh well. I'm partly from the South. It'll work.)

With realizing that I couldn't figure out quickly how people were related - and some people I didn't know their names (yikes!) - I also realized that I don't get to see certain family members often enough. And I'm not just meaning this side of the family. I have several cousins and great-aunts and uncles that live outside of Ohio that don't get here a whole lot. I have cousins I haven't gotten to see for years and only communicate with either via facebook or text-messaging. And while I still love talking to them in these ways, it doesn't make up for losing face-to-face time with them.

Family, in my opinion, is a number one priority. I don't know where I'd be without my family - and, honestly, I don't want to know. There are certain members of my family that I talk to every single day, and those people are really important to me. And while I don't necessarily get along with everyone in my family, that doesn't keep me from realizing that my family is awesome. While some people might be slightly embarrassing, they're my family. I think everyone at some point has been embarrassed by their families, and as soon as someone starts to make fun of your family or diss them in anyway, you jump on them and defend those you love. Because you love them. I know if anybody tries to diss my family members that I'm close to and that I love, I let that person know that it is NOT okay to do this. My family is just so important and I will never put anything in this life before them.

To me, a family does not have to consist of blood-relatives, and with that you don't have to consider every blood-relative family. I know there are some people who treat you like dirt and don't think before they say stuff to you. And as far as I'm concerned, those people aren't family. Majority of my family are not blood-related, but I still love them all the same. My friends are like family to me, especially those who have been through thick and thin with me. I know that doesn't sound very meaningful, me only being 14 (and 3 quarters, thank you), but I honestly mean that. Without my friends and family, I probably wouldn't be here, writing this, today.

Have a great weekend,
Hanna

Progress Report

2011-03-15T22:47:00.000-04:00

(Me writing in Jimmy's ACUs *combat uniform*)

I finished chapter one tonight. I feel like I just punched myself in the gut, but as my fabulous cousin told me tonight, it was a big hurdle. A hurdle I most likely just tripped over, but a hurdle none the less.

Number of pages: 10
Number of words: 2,922

You Didn't See Me

2011-03-15T17:12:00.000-04:00

This is an awesome video I found via my Biker Uncle. Bikers are people, and they are not stereotypical. They have friends and families. Look out for them while you're driving. Motorcycles aren't dangerous if you know what you're doing - and most Bikers do. What's dangerous is when people don't pay attention and look out for motorcycles and cut them off.

And please keep in mind, that some of these men and women you see on a bike might be members of the Patriot Guard Riders - the wonderful men and women who stand for the ones who stood for us (our troops and veterans). Please keep your eyes open while driving, and don't automatically assume that just because they're a Biker that they're like the bad Bikers in Wild Hogs. Because most bikers I know, aren't.

I kind of suck

2011-03-08T17:07:00.000-05:00

I've been back at writing for a week, yesterday and I'm already beginning to see how long I've been out of the swing of things. Not only is my writing not really flowing, it's just really hard for me to sit down and resolve to write. It's not because I don't love it, because I know I do. I don't know if it's just the subject matter that's seemingly keeping me away, or if I'm just not ready or what.

I think a big part of it is school. I don't remember ever being this tired after school last year - and I actually get up later this year than I did in junior high. I don't know if I'm just not sleeping well or if I'm just mentally exhausted and haven't ever had a chance to catch up on that, but that doesn't seem very likely. All I know is, by the time I sit down and it's at a time I'm able to write (I like writing in the later hours) I just can't. If you've been following my blog for a while, you might remember that this is something that I struggled with quite often with Solace during the months of school. Finding the time to write is hard. Especially when you have to get up so early in the morning, which requires a bed time around ten o'clock.

I'm hoping that the closer I get to the end of my freshman year, the more I am able to write. I still can't quite get my head wrapped around the idea of this story - that it's not what I'm used to writing. It's scary, but kind of exciting. There's no guideline to follow this time, as where when I was writing Solace I was in the second draft and already had a pretty good understanding of who my characters were and what they needed and where the story was going to take them - or where they were going to take the story. And while this novel is largely a true story and is largely clear in my head, that seems to make it harder. I need to make it good and I need to make sure it makes certain people happy (which, could out to be harder than I thought when it comes to certain people - but I can't leave them out). Not only this, but I have to make sure that I honor Jimmy and don't let him down, in a sense. It's just...new...and as we all know, Hanna does not deal very well with change. So here's to hoping I get that worked out as well.

But let me just put this into perspective for you. I've been back to writing for eight days. And in those eight days, I've written more on that first night than in the total time I've been writing.

So, yeah, I kind of suck. (Too bad it's not in a cool vampire-ish way :-< )

Hope you all have a wonderful week and TUESDAY'S ALMOST OVER!!

~Hanna~

Progress Report #1

2011-02-28T21:34:00.000-05:00

So I'm going to give progress reports with my writing occasionally. Tonight I started writing after much procrastination and asking many question I know no one has the answers to. Not to mention, the tears and hair-ripping phase. Good times, I assure you. In the words of Katy Perry in my new theme song "Who am I Living For?" - "I know there will be sacrifice, but that's the price."

So, stats.

# of pages: 3

# of words: 899

Not the best I've done, but considering this was amid math homework, chatting with some of my favorite people, eating grilled cheese, and watching the new episode of Pretty Little Liars, I consider this an accomplishment of great lengths. Not to mention that it was a complete new start to a complete new story that I had never written before. And the fact that certain people are counting on me to write this. Pressure's on. Another lyric from the mentioned song "I need your strength to handle the pressure." Jimmy, I'm gonna be needing you, hun. You've always stood in front of me, but I'm really needing you to stand behind me on this one. And like always, catch me if I fall.

Goodnight, guys. This writer's going to bed!

Much love,
Hanna

Think of a Numb3r by John Verdon

2011-02-25T16:33:00.000-05:00

I read this book way back in the first quarter of the school year in 2010. I actually started reading it in July 2010, I believe, and with everything that was happening in August into September, this book unfortunately got pushed to the back burner a lot. Which is really saying nothing about this book - this book was fabulous. Unlike anything I have read in a long time. It was chilling and dark and strangely beautiful in an odd way. However, reviewing it so long after having read the book, I think it's safer to simply post the book review/report/connection paper I wrote on it for my English class. WARNING: MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS. READ AT OWN RISK.

After reading Think of a Number by John Verdon there are several lessons that I can take from the book. I didn't expect this book to teach me anything, but one lesson really hit home and the fact that it has been reinforced by a novel about an un-catchable serial killer surprised me, but also made me believe that this lesson is the most important to learn.

The main character, Dave Gurney, goes throughout most of the book avoiding the calls from his rich son and evading the heart-wrenching memories from the son that was killed on his watch. Dave is aware that his relationship with his son is nearly non-existent and his relationship with his wife is on the rocks. After working for the New York Police Department for twenty-something years he told her that his retirement would be the end of his obsessed-cop brain and late hours and the beginning of a relaxed life together away from the city. But when he starts working a case again - after his retirement - as a favor to a friend (who ends up being killed - not a spoiler I promise), his wife realizes his promises will go unfulfilled and that her husband will never truly be able to leave the job - it's too much a part of who he is. More people are killed by the same man who killed his friend, and Gurney is becoming more and more obsessed with this unsolvable case. No evidence, no fingerprints, anything, nothing surfaces that the suspect doesn't want them to find. More leads surface, but no solution can be reached even after several connections are made. However, when a possible victim turns out to be the killer, Gurney finds himself locked in a room with the killer and another officer - Gurney is unarmed and the killer confiscates the officer's weapons. Dave is very aware that this man could take his life and leave him for dead within minutes and without warning or reason. As he realizes this, he tries to think of way to throw the control-freak killer off course and make him forget what he's doing all for an opportune moment of weakness where one of the hostages could make a move on him and take him down. He's desperately thinking of just one way to make him falter, make him question who's really in control, but nothing seems to be working. Gurney, in his own way, realizes he needs to patch things up with his family. When he does, he realizes his perception of his son is totally off and that he had never really lost anything with his wife that wasn't re-attainable. As for the son that was killed because he was distracted, he realizes that it wasn't his fault and that he hasn't failed as a father.

Throughout the past two months, I have been forced to look at my life and I have really realized what's important and what's just a trivial waste of time. Ever since my hero and cousin was killed in Afghanistan, my life has been put into perspective. Not only have I realized what really matters to me, but I've also realized how suddenly and how quickly life can be taken from you - without a second thought or reason, because sometimes there isn't a reason. Understanding this, you should never leave a conflict unresolved and you should make the most of every single day. If you're not living life, everyone's sacrifices both for freedom and from past hardships that made the present better, have been in vain. They didn't give up their times and lives, nor did they endure pain so we can all just sit here and waste our lives away. Reading Think of a Number by John Verdon has really reassured me that I need to know what's important in life and what's not. It's also made me realize that a lot of people don't do this and just how many around me haven't realized this.

I rate this book 4 out of 5 stars. This is the first mystery I've read where I haven't figured out the answers before the characters do and I really life that. However, there's a LOT of stereotypical "Cop Language" in this book and I would read this based on your matturity level. I definitely wouldn't recomend this to some people I go to school with, but I definitely would recomend this book!!

Videos

2011-02-21T14:16:00.000-05:00

I also made a video for my uncle's birthday, but couldn't post it with his birthday blog post because I knew he would see it before his birthday party and I just simply could not have that. So, here's the video I made for his birthday.

I also made a video for YouTube basically saying what I wrote about on Friday.

Love You

2011-02-18T15:47:00.001-05:00

So let me tell you about this amazing guy I have in my life. He's amazingly supportive, always is there to listen to me, will tell me the truth when I need to hear it, has taught me a lot of important things, and has introduced me to the lifestyle I have now - as well as introduced me to a new hobby and passion. He always answers my texts and has been my texting buddy for quite some time now. He's an amazing guy that I will always hold near and dear to my heart. And today's his birthday.

My beloved Uncle Chris turns the big five-oh today!

My Uncle has believed in me since he first discovered that I was writing. He since then has inspired me to continue writing what I feel and in the past six months has pushed me to start writing again after having taken a half-year off after losing my cousin, his son, in Afghanistan. And I figure that today, being that it is my "cheer-leader's" birthday, it's as good of day as any to announce that in ten days - February 28th, 2011 - I will begin writing once again. It will make half a year since SGT Jimmy was killed in action and I figure that it's time I get a part of me back that I've so desperately been searching for.

Although I will not be continuing Solace - or at least, not right now - I will be starting a new project that has a very personal essence to it and that I'm very eager to start. I feel that this project, which - obviously, knowing me - doesn't yet have a title, will bring closure in a way and hopefully help me keep some of the promises I've made in the past. And while I cannot tell you much about it, I really want to tell you guys. We'll just say for now that My Strong Soldier will live on through this project and that since he was the inspiration for Solace, he deserves a story of his own now.

Uncle Chris, Happy 50th Birthday. I cannot wait to give you your present, and I also cannot wait to give you draft after draft of this project to read. Thank you, for everything, Biker Dude.

Much love,

Welcome Home Extended Family

2011-02-09T19:27:00.000-05:00

A big WELCOME HOME to the Rakkasans!! You guys are like family to me and I'm so glad you're finally home! (or getting here!) I cannot thank you enough for what you guys do and I am forever indebted to each and every one of you!! I love you guys so much without even knowing a single one of you!

Much love,
Hanna

James Henry!

2011-02-08T16:33:00.000-05:00

WELCOME TO OUR WORLD JAMES HENRY!!!!!

Can't wait to meet you little guy!! April!!!

Love your favorite cousin,

<3 Hanna <3

PACKERS

2011-02-06T22:14:00.000-05:00

GO PACKERS!!!!! CONGRATULATIONS ON THE SUPER BOWL 45 WIN!!!

One Year

2011-02-06T13:45:00.001-05:00

One year ago today at 10pm, Jimmy's unit deployed to Afghanistan. One year later, they are still there fighting, but will be home soon. To you guys, I say THANK YOU with my whole heart and being for fighting for my freedoms, for putting up with Jimmy, for protecting him and each other, and for being his family when we couldn't be. As a result of this, each one of you are like family to me. I'm praying for your safe homecoming.

Much love and appreciation,

Hanna

Red Friday

2011-02-04T16:36:00.000-05:00

So, many of you may not be aware that this ever existed, but a few years ago there was this thing called "Red Friday" where people would wear red every Friday to show their support and remembrance for our Troops deployed and serving here in the sates. I participated in this when I remembered it, and over the years kind of forgot about it. I wasn't for sure that people still acknowledged Red Friday anymore, but I've recently learned that some do.

I'm not really sure what the point of this post is about, except to expose you all to Red Friday and ask you to please participate. I know I don't wear red every Friday, I don't have all that much red to wear, but I just ask to please wear red when you can. And even if you can't wear red on Fridays, I still ask you to remember our Troops and what they are sacrificing for you each and every day - even if they're not deployed they are still making sacrifices for this country and for each and every one of us. I may just be more acutely aware of it than some other people might be, but I'm asking you to realize it and never forget it. We shouldn't just honor these men and women on Memorial Day and Veterans Day and other days like that - we should honor them each and every day. Perhaps not on such a grand scale, but just with who we are and what we do. We shouldn't bash a war, because - guess what? - the soldiers don't want to be there any more than you want the war to be going on. But they go there, fight, and some even lay down their own life because they BELIEVE IN THIS COUNTRY. And THAT'S what I'm asking you to never forget.

Many thanks to Troops & Veterans,
Hanna

^picture copy right of me.^

Contest

2011-02-02T16:02:00.000-05:00

Oh how I love Kit Kats. They describe just how I feel sometimes. Like this morning. Ice everywhere and I'm going to school on time. Seriously?

Sorry I've been a very bad blogger so far this year. It's been a crazy few weeks with exams and school - and lack there of - not to mention all the snow/ice and a lot of excitement that I can't talk about on this blog because my lovely Uncle might read it and spoil his birthday present. Which he'll never guess what it is at this point - so I don't want to ruin it now.

So I haven't had a whole lot to talk about, though here in the few coming weeks I probably will. Especially at the end of February because I'm going to do something. A lot of you may know what this thing is, but if you don't, I promise it's not too exciting and if you want to know, keep checking this blog for the news.

Having already said that I have pretty much nothing to talk about, you're probably wondering why I'm posting this. And the answer is simply: Because of a contest. Now, don't get too excited, I'm not having a contest. I entered a contest, and I have to blog about it as part of it, just to spread the word. So, if you're interested in winning a ARC of one of the YA Rebels on YouTube you should most definitely click here.

Hope you're all staying warm! Seems it's cold pretty much all over! Brrrrrrrr.

With eternal love and blessings,
Hanna

Somebody Fought For You

2011-01-22T17:28:00.000-05:00

I found this AMAZING video via my cousin posting it on Facebook. I don't even have words to describe how...touching this is to me. It broke my heart and made me remember what I have and, maybe more importantly, WHY I have it. To all of our Veterans and Troops, I wholeheartedly say

THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Vanilla Twilight

2011-01-17T19:04:00.000-05:00

Hey guys.

I just wanted to take a few minutes to post a video that I made today. Today has been a somewhat monumental day for me, as a writer, as well as a person. And while I can't completely explain these things to you, I will say that a lot of changes are hopefully going to be made in my life - positive changes and these such changes were brought about by a few very important people that have made me realize that I need to 'let go' of some things and turn whatever I'm feeling into something positive. Gee, people haven't been telling me this all along or anything.

Anyway, today I've made decisions that I can hopefully stick to. And with that, I give you, the Vanilla Twilight night of my life.

And on a really happy note, the Screaming Eagles will be home soon!! This not only goes out to Jim, but to the Rakkasans as well! Love you guys!!

Three Year Anniversary

2011-01-14T17:25:00.001-05:00

Today is my three year anniversary with my beloved ex-novel, SOLACE. At the time I started writing SOLACE, however, it wasn't called SOLACE, nor did it have any direction, purpose, characters, or a plot line whatsoever. I just decided one day - January 14th, 2008, to be exact - that I wanted to write. I had been reading Twilight (the first book I chose to read in a long time, at that point) and I knew that I wanted to give writing a go. So I sat down and tried to think of something to write. When that failed, I wrote a note to myself, basically, and saved it - never expecting to come back to it again. But I did. But I still faced the problem of "Oh, crap, I'm determined to write something now, but what?"

Well, that was right around the time that Jim was coming home for mid-tour leave from his second deployment to Iraq and I was really excited that he was coming home. It seemed like he was always deployed and if he was coming home, even if for only two weeks, I was extremely happy. But I desperately wanted to be there when Jimmy got off the plane - but I knew that he never allowed anyone to be there except for his wife. I asked my grandma why that was and she said - and I will never forget this as long as I live - "I think he doesn't want to risk letting anyone see him cry." And that's what started it, to be honest. It gave me the premise of my story. I wanted my character to be strong like Jimmy, because I wanted to be strong like Jimmy - and I worked for a long time to try to be. Obviously I have failed in that matter. I wanted my character to have an amazing cousin in the Army who was deployed to Iraq because I had one too. I wanted my character, in a lot of ways, to be me - or who I wanted myself to be. And thus Hallie Pearson (wasn't her name at the time) was born.

In draft one, the story started out with a dream that Hallie was having. She had dreams about her cousin (Jackson) a lot, but in this dream, she saw him cry. Now, although a lot of her dreams that included Jackson were not about him crying, (it might've been only that one) throughout draft two, I kept that idea and it actually is a pretty big piece of the story now.

A lot of people have asked me why I can't go back to writing SOLACE at the moment, it's fictional, what happened to Jimmy has nothing to do with what I wrote about Jackson, and that's true enough. But the fact of the matter is that this novel's first original detail was inspired by Jimmy and that makes it extremely hard for me to go back to it at the present time. I know that Jim would want me to finish it, and then he'd want to beat me up for the Jackson character, and I will - in time. But right now, I need to get away from that. Because I know how Jackson's story comes to a close in draft one - and how it was going to in general. And although it might not have been a bad ending, it's still one that's hard for me to deal with because I know for certain Jim's ending. And the contrast and similarities of the two are painful.

Now, I'm not posting this to tell you a sappy story, because I know you don't want to hear it. The reason I'm posting this is because this is how I started writing. I'm not saying that Jim was the only person that inspired me while writing SOLACE, because he wasn't. But he did, however, inspire me, without even knowing, to start writing. And that's something I'll never forget. And so now, as it usually was, it's all for you, Jim.

Thank you - for everything.

Rant. Again.

2011-01-02T15:39:00.000-05:00

I received an email today from my cousin and decided that I should share it a bit more publicly than just forward-ing it on - which I did also.

This is the email:

We are asking everyone to say a prayer for "Darkhorse" 3rd Battalion 5th Marines and their families. They are fighting it out in Afghanistan & they have lost 9 marines in 4 days. IT WOULD BE NICE TO SEE the message spread if more could pass it on.

God Bless America and God Bless the United States Marine Corps... Semper Fi, Often Tested, Always Faithful, Brothers Forever

Lindsay Lohan, 24, gets her name and face all over the news because she went to jail. Now she's getting it all over again for failing her drug test.

But: Nothing in the media about these guys because no one seems to care:
Justin Allen, 23,
Brett Linley, 29,
Matthew Weikert, 29,
Justus Bartett, 27,
Dave Santos, 21,
Chase Stanley, 21,
Jesse Reed, 26,
Matthew Johnson, 21,
Zachary Fisher, 24,
Brandon King, 23,
Christopher Goeke, 23,
Sheldon Tate, 27,

All are Marines that gave their lives for YOU this week!

Honor THEM by forwarding this. I just did.

SHOW THEM WE STILL CARE! THANK YOU, Justin Allen, Brett Linley,

Matthew Weikert, Justus Bartett, Dave Santos, Chase Stanley, Jesse Reed, Matthew Johnson, Zachary Fisher, Brandon King, Christopher Goeke, and Sheldon Tate, FOR MY FREEDOM!

I am quite bothered by the fact that our country has become more obsessed with celebrity problems, scandals, and relapses than showing proper thanks and respect to our troops - past, present, and fallen. Without what our troops do for us, we wouldn't be able to care about Lohan or Tiger Woods or anybody else for that matter. And, frankly, I don't see why people feed into the Hollywood stories - by paying them more attention, you're just making it seem like a bigger deal than it is. Tiger Woods cheated on his wife. Yes, that's very wrong, but tons of guys cheat on their wives and girlfriends - and plenty of girls cheat on their husbands - but that doesn't mean they're in the headlines.

You know, the news will show a story about Westboro showing up at a Fallen Hero's services, but they won't pay tribute to troops that fall if they're not in their area. And I think that that's really wrong. Because by doing this, it's saying that it's okay not to think about the war, or think about the men and women dying for you. And it's not okay to do this. In history class one day when we started learning about WWI, my teacher said that it was a total war because everything in the country went to fighting the war. She related it to our present-day war and said something along the lines of "Does the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan affect our lives every day?" I could not believe how many people said "No." I flat-out, maybe a little too loudly, said "YES!" Later on in the lesson she said something like "Most of you, since you don't watch the news or read the newspapers, probably go weeks or months without thinking about the war." I was so bothered by this that even remembering it now I am still angered by it. Even if you don't know someone serving in the military, you should at least be aware of what our Soldiers are doing for you - without even knowing you. Because of what they do, you can go to school every day and care about trivial things like how cute someone is in your class or being popular or getting the cutest dress for homecoming. They give up their trivial-ness so that you can keep yours. They sacrifice so much just so that their friends, family, and fellow Americans can live freely and safely. How could you not be aware of that? How could you not see how that affects you every day?

Perhaps I'm just a little biased on this subject. For as long as I've been able to realize what the wars are, I've had family serving in them. And after having lost a close cousin to OEF, maybe I have no room to speak about how other teenagers and other Americans in general should feel. But what I do know is that these men and women are the most important thing in our country, and I know that they are living, fighting, and dying for this country - for you and me. And that, is something that for as long as I live I SWEAR I will NEVER forget.

2010 Recap

2010-12-30T11:34:00.000-05:00

I've been debating for about a week now whether or not I wanted to do a year-end recap this year. I did one last year and loved it because it showed everything that I had accomplished in a year's time, everything I'd gotten to experience, and I was able to leave out the bad things. But the difference between this year and last is that last year was a pretty good year for me. I didn't lose many people or go through things in any degree what I've gone through this year.

However, I feel I owe it to myself to look at everything I've been through this year and see how much of what's happened this year has made me who I am - which means things both good and bad. So here we go.

The year started off on an okay note. Not much was going on, exams and switching classes, the normal. At the end of January, my cousin, Jimmy, had his last weekend home before deploying to Afghanistan. In February, I attended my cousin, Pauline's, visitation. February the 6th, at 10:00PM, to be exact - Jimmy deployed to Afghanistan. Also on the 6th of February I was scheduled to have my district Power of the Pen meet, which was moved to February 26, which I didn't place in, but I did make Regionals. In March, my favorite movie, Remember Me, was released and I went to see it on the 13th. Also on the 13th of March, I had my Regional Power of the Pen meet, which I didn't place in, nor did I qualify for State. On March 20th, I went to Wal-Mart at midnight to get New Moon on DVD. At the end of March, I went on Spring Break to Tennessee with my family and grandparents. I went back to school and Jimmy came home on mid-tour leave in April. On April 15th, I saw him at my grandparents' house and he put me on his shoulders. Two days later, April 17th, we celebrated Jimmy being home with a dinner at my grandparents' house. He put me on his shoulders and we had a really good time. That was the last time I saw him. On Friday, April 23rd, Jimmy went back to Afghanistan.

On April 24th, I attended the Ohio State spring game and one of my favorite teachers became the father to twins. On April 26th, Leanna Renee Hieber came to my school. On April 27th, Leanna Renee Hieber's second book in the Strangely Beautiful Saga was released, The Darkly Luminous Fight for Persephone Parker. And I went to the release party. That same week, I took my state tests.

In the beginning of May, I gave a speech in hopes to get onto the Freshman Student Council and made it. On May 9th, I went to Columbus to my cousin's cookout and saw him for the first time since 2007. On May 13th, Robert Pattinson turned 24 and was on Oprah. On May 18th, the fifth Vampire Academy novel was released, Spirit Bound. On May 24th, my cousin Jimmy celebrated his 27th birthday in Afghanistan. On May 27th, I read the poem I wrote for Jim to my class as part of our "Coffee House". On May 28th, final exams for my eighth grade year started.

On May 31, Memorial Day, my beloved Uncle Chris took me on my first Motorcycle ride and got me hooked. I soon fell in love with the nickname "Biker Chick" :D. On Wednesday, June 2nd, we had our 8th grade awards where I received several awards for my academics as well as for Power of the Pen. I made it into the Jr High's Academic Hall of Fame. I finished my exams and then finished my eighth grade year.

Over summer vacation, my family and I went to the zoo, and then to Myrtle Beach. I got a package from Jackson Pearce, and read Sisters Red. July flew by, but it was summer and warm, so things were good.

The month of August started off on a bad note. My great-grandma (Granny) died on August 3rd at the age of 97. Losing her was very unnerving because I thought she'd be the one thing that would always be in my life. We'd come close to losing her many times before, so much that I was convinced that she was immortal. I miss my Angel, but she's a real Angel now.

As the month went on, I prepared to start high school. As a last vacation of the summer, my brother and my grandparents and I went to the lake. We came home on August 20th, and my amazing back pack had come in. Also, on August 20th, I talked to Jimmy for the last time. We also went to a Bengal's pre-season game that night.

I started high school, and only one week into it, my life changed. The month of August, ended on a bad note as well, when we were informed of the worst possible news. My Hero, SGT James C. Robinson fell to indirect fire in Afghanistan on August 28th, 2010 as part of Operation Enduring Freedom. I can't even tell you how horrible I felt, and still feel. I pray to God nobody ever knows this pain, though I know others will. In September, we brought Jimmy home for good and said "goodbye". Also in September, Jim's youngest daughter turned 3.

My cousins Amber and Corey found out they were having a boy and I met Jackson Pearce.

In October, I attended my first homecoming dance and dressed as Jimmy for Halloween. In November, we had a baby shower for my cousins and we celebrated the hardest Thanksgiving ever.

In December, I got the Eclipse DVD and did a lot of Christmas shopping. My cousin had a son, my new second cousin. Christmas break finally came and my family celebrated the hardest Christmas ever.

This Christmas, I got a biker vest with the Patriot Guard Riders' emblem on the back and a "Biker Chick" patch on the front. Along with a Mission Accomplished pin from bringing my Hero home.

So to sum it up, this year has been an odd one. I've become a different person in the course of this year - and I'm not sure yet if that's a good thing or a bad thing, but I can't go back to who I was. I'm hoping the New Year is much better, though I'm sure it couldn't be much worse. However, I'm almost not wanting New Years to come, and I'm not quite sure why.

I'd like to take a moment and say Thank You to everyone who has been there for me the past four months. It's been tough, but having you people has really helped. I love you guys - if you're reading.

I'd also like to take a moment to say Thank You to our amazing troops overseas for everything you do. And to Jim's unit - 187th, 3rd BCT, 101st Airborne - come home safely in February!

Happy New Year.

Officially Inspired

Sisters Red by Jackson Pearce

2010-12-16T12:34:00.000-05:00

I cannot believe it has taken me this long to review the 14th book I read this year, Sisters Red by Jackson Pearce. As you may recall, I read this book back in June or July. I have it written down when I finished it, but it's in my book, and my friend is currently borrowing my copy of SR.

Anyway, with that said that it's been quite some time since I read SR, this review may suck. But let's give it a go.

The novel starts out with two sisters, Rosie and Scarlet, as young girls at their grandmother's house. Their grandmother is attacked and killed by a Fenris (which is like a werewolf). The Fenris comes into the room to attack the girls, but Scarlet (the older sister) fights him off. But not before the beast scars her up pretty good and takes her eye.

The years pass and Scarlet has dedicated her life to fighting Fenris. She's determined that no others shall suffer because of them and that if she can kill them, that she will. Rosie, however, wants to hunt too. Scarlet isn't too keen on the idea. Rosie is her little sister, she doesn't want to put her in danger. But she promises to let her try. Scarlet's friend, and old hunting buddy, Silas is back in town and is hunting with them again. The number of Fenris in their area is increasing, and they all want to know why.

They discover that this year is the year of the Potential - a human that has the potential to become a Fenris if another Fenris gets hold of them. The trio wants to find this potential to save him from the life of a Fenris and also in hopes of luring a considerable amount of Fenris to their death. Rosie's a team player, but ever since she was little, their life has always been about the hunt. Rosie doesn't like hunting as much as Scarlet does, and she wants to do other things. She wants to be normal. She wants to paint, or dance, or do whatever appeals to her. She doesn't want to hunt - but she doesn't want to let her sister down either.

This novel is about the struggle of staying loyal to the sister that saved your life, being a good friend to the man who wants to let you live your life, and staying true to yourself. Balancing sisterly love and the love - or is it love? - of a man has never been harder.

I rate this book 5/5 stars.

Christmastime

2010-12-13T11:22:00.001-05:00

Today is my first snow day of the season. The snow is absolutely beautiful outside, and if I'm even near a window I can feel just how cold it is outside. I've also realized just how close Christmas is. 12 days.

This year, understandably, I'm really finding it hard to get into the Christmas mood. I'm not going to share my exact feelings with you, because honestly it's hard to put them to words. There are very few people I can talk to about how I'm really feeling, but even then I can't really put it to words. But the more I've thought about Christmas this year, the more I keep thinking about a short piece I wrote two years ago. I think I shared it on this blog before, but I'll post it again.

"The First Snow"

The snow started falling in blissful patterns. Lightly then harshly. Flakes then puffs. As I walked outside I could feel the chill of the morning creep upon me. I could see the puffs of my breath. Winter was here and along with it came the first snow fall of the season. I bundled my coat tighter and rubbed my hands together forcing more circulation into them. I got into my car and turned the heat on high. As I drove off to work the sun's bashful beams came timidly from behind a cloud that looked as though it was made up from thousands upon thousands of the purest snowflakes.

By the time that I had reached my office the snow was glistening with the sun upon it. I was awestruck by

this. All I could do was stare out my office window.

That was when I realized it. The snow was so peaceful compared to this chaotic world. In a world where wars rage and people fight, where people die at the hands of their peers, where we lose dears ones to diseases with no cure, where children's parents neglect them so much they must beg for food, where people, good people, lose their jobs because the company can't afford to pay them anymore. And then there's snow.

The snow comes and goes as it pleases. It doesn't need worry about the little things the we humans do everyday. It's blissfully happy as it is. There was a time, I'm sure of it, when we were, too, like the snow. Maybe centuries ago, but what changed? What happened to make us like we are now? Blood thirsty, power seeking, money greedy, people? Not that all of us are that way, of course.

So what does the snow represent to me? It represents hope that one day we will return to being like the snow and all wars will end along with all fights. Maybe one day we need not fret over the little things and rejoice over the important things.

Why do I feel this way?

Because snow brightens our world.

Maybe one day we will be snow.

Now, more than ever the snow makes me think. I can't tell you exactly why, but it does. It makes me think about those I've lost and those I still have. It makes me think about how quickly life goes by - and how unfair that sometimes is.

I wrote something the other day. Lately I haven't been sharing things that I write because a lot of it is really personal and doesn't really make much sense to the outside world. However, I would like to share this one.

I wrote this Thursday and Friday. This poem isn't really about Jimmy, because Jim wasn't due home for Christmas this year. However, a lot of the feelings and things are based off of how I felt about Jim and his job before, and how I dealt with it after and also how I see things, a bit.

"I'll Be Home for Christmas"

I’ll be home for Christmas,

He tells them,
But he knows he might not make it
Until then.
Cause where he’s at.
Every breath is a gift,
But the worry they’ll never fully know
Is a weight he can lift.

So he tells them he’s safe,
And they’ve got nothing to worry about.
But he knows what goes through their minds,
That he’s the one thing they can’t live without.
They believe him,

It’s better than the reality

And the possibilities they’ll never let be real

‘Cause everyday he sees fatality.

He does his job,

Tries to ignore the uncertainty.

Does what he’s told

He does it so determinedly.

But one day his family’s

Worst fears come true.

Never again will they see his smile or
His eyes so blue.

A soldier,
Always true to his word,
Was home for Christmas, a half-mast flag
Flying free like a bird –
Because of his sacrifice
And the so many before him.
It sucks that it happens,
But it makes the future less dim.

He came home for Christmas,
Just not the way they prayed.
A flag drapes his coffin, a community cries,
As to rest he is laid.
They know he believed in what he did,
But that doesn’t heal the pain of a broken heart.
They watch as he is honored and saluted and
Each three shots stab them in the heart just like a dart.

The news talks about a hometown hero
And they know that’s exactly what he is.
They feel their pride for him, warm, deep inside them,
But they know the true honor was all his.
He didn’t see it that way,
And they could only see him as the boy they always knew.
Not as a veteran, but someone who is always honest and so
This Christmas, like always, they know to his word he stayed true.

They feel him near everyday,

Although he’s nowhere to be found,

But they know he’s still here,

They hear and feel him all around.

They know he’ll never leave them,

Nor will he abandon the fight.

He’s not one to ever give up

No matter how ugly the sight.

They know too well the cost of freedom because of

The soldier they will always hold dear.

They know he served to protect them, and

In the whisper of the wind they hear:

“I came home for Christmas,

Just like I promised to.”

And with each American Flag that waves, they hear him say,

“I’m still defending you.”

New Baby Cousin!

2010-12-08T16:31:00.000-05:00

I just had to post to tell you guys that I have a new baby cousin! Meet my baby cousin, Nikolas JCR, or as I call him Nikkie. Ain't he just the cutest? He looks so much like his Daddy, it's not even funny. But somehow Nikkie's cute. :)

Welcome to the world Nikkie!! I love you!
(he was born on Monday, December 6th, 2010)

Season Change

2010-12-04T09:47:00.000-05:00

I woke up to snow, and first thing on the computer I checked my package's shipping status. Yep, it's Christmastime.

Hope you all enjoy the snow, if there's any where you're at.
~Officially Inspired~

p.s. this picture was taken Wednesday when it snowed as well. Sadly, you cannot see the snowflakes flying into the flag. :(

Because we're arguing...

2010-11-28T10:28:00.000-05:00

Because at the present moment, I hear my family in the other room arguing about how to say 'crayon' I decided it was a good excuse to post my thoughts.

You see, I have a three year old sister and my mom has ruined her chances of ever saying 'crayon' the correct way. They both say it 'crown', which is wrong in so many ways. A CRAY-ON is not by an means a crown. They are completely different things. You do not wear a CRAY-ON on your head, and the Queen of England not given a CRAY-ON to mark her royalty. Now, I'm very well aware that in the English language not a whole lot of our words make sense as to how they sound if you look at how they're spelled. However, crayon is a word that makes perfectly good sense. Two syllables that sound exactly as they should. CRAY-ON.

It's CRAY-ON people, not crown. CRAY-ON.

(this reminds me a lot of the "Ban the Banana" post I did a while back...)

With eternal love and blessings,
Officially Inspired

Thanksgiving

2010-11-24T17:51:00.000-05:00

I remember my Thanksgiving post from last year very clearly. I remember mentioning my family, Jimmy, our service men and women, my Faith, my friends, things of this nature. Although I've understood how much I have to be thankful for in the past, I feel that this year I have more to be thankful for than ever. That might sound a little backwards taking into consideration how many close loved ones I've lost in a year's time and how many other hardships I've faced, but I guess what they say is true; That you never know what you have until it's gone. No matter how much I may have realized it before, I have so many great things in my life, even if they're no longer physically here with me.

First and foremost, I have to say that I am thankful for my cousin Jimmy (SGT James C Robinson) for being my loving cousin and for being stronger than I will ever be. I never realized just how much he taught me. I'm thankful that he was brave enough to serve in the US Army and for loving his family enough to fight for our freedom and, unfortunately, lay down his life for our country, our freedoms, his family and friends, and even myself. I truly know no greater Hero than my cousin, and that's why I'm thankful for having him ever been in my life. Jim, I love you so much. I'd give anything to have you steal dumplins off my plate this year.

Secondly, I have to say that I am thankful for our service men and women who, like Jimmy, serve our country and keep us free and safe. Although I know that I can never thank each individual one, I would like to think that somehow, some way I can let them know how much I appreciate them. For those who paid the ultimate sacrifice, I thank you and your families for doing the unthinkable. Although I do not know the majority of you, I feel as though all of you are family through my cousin, and through my various other cousins in the military. To Staff Sergeant Corey Henderson, Lance Corpral Tyler McNabb, Staff Sergeant Drew Robinson, and to Brette and Matt Karas, I thank you for your service to our country.

Thirdly (and not any less importantly), I am thankful for my Faith in God. With everything that's happened this year, especially in the past three months or so, having God in my heart and life has kept me somewhat sane, though I suspect I never fully was to begin with. If I've learned one thing it's that having one thing certain in life is extremely important. Although I might have questioned my Father's Plan the past couple of months and might've even questioned His existence, I know that He will be with me always, even when I might stray or whatever the case may be. Why? Because He loves me, unconditionally and eternally. After seeing how much of her life my Granny devoted to praising and spreading the Word of God, I know He has to be real. And besides, I'd rather live my life as if there is a God to find out there's not, than to live my life as if there isn't and find out there is.

Fourth, I am thankful for my Granny for, even if I didn't realize it until the day she died, she taught me to trust God and to trust his plan. In any relationship, trust is never just given, it is earned. With this said, she, maybe without even knowing it, showed me where I needed God and that built trust - not only between me and my Heavenly Father, but also between me and my great-grandma. Granny, keep being my angel and I hope I do you proud when I say the Blessing in your place at the table this Thanksgiving.

Fifth, I am thankful, so incredibly thankful, for my family. I have a huge family, but I never knew how much some of my family members really love me. It's amazing that no matter how long I might go without talking to someone or seeing them, they can still just come up to me and hug me and say, "I love you". Love, no matter what the circumstance, never goes away. No length of time nor spectre of departure can extinguish the light of love. And my family has shown me that a hundred times over. Guys, thanks for all your support and love. I can't tell you how much I love each and every one of you. God has blessed me in so many ways, and for those of you who haven't found out that God loves you, you're missing out. =D

Sixth, I am so thankful for all of the "nets" I have in my life. It continues to amaze me just how many people I have around me that will catch me when I fall. Some of them I've only talked to for less than three months, some of them I've known for a lifetime, and some of them I've only reconnected with recently. But without these people I have no clue where I'd be. So thank you guys for catching me. I hope someday I can repay you or return the favor.

Seventh, I am thankful for my friends who will stand beside me in good times and bad. For always being there for me and for loving me no matter how different I may seem at times. Guys, I love you so much and God couldn't have let better people come into my life. I will not let you walk out.

Eighth, I am thankful that I am able to write. Sometimes I feel like I could explode and writing is a wonderful outlet. Even if, at times, it might not make any sense or runs in circles or doesn't come out right, the fact that I'm letting things out sometimes can make me feel a lot better. Hopefully I can start writing something again soon. Poems are the only thing I've been able to muster.

Finally, I am thankful for all of my freedoms and for being in the best country in the world. I'm free to post and share my feelings with all of you because brave men and women fight for my right to do so. No matter how much I'll feel I don't deserve any of it, I'm thankful for it.

Please don't forget what you're thankful for. And please, take a moment, just a moment, of your day and remember those who gave all for you and those who continue to protect you - even though they might not know you.

Tell me what you're thankful for in the comments or post a link to your blog where you blogged about it!

Happy Thanksgiving.

With eternal love and blessings,

Hanna

My Firework

2010-11-19T15:40:00.001-05:00

Because I epically fail as a blogger and as a person, I somehow forgot in my last post to add this video I made. It was, indeed, uploaded to YouTube at the time of my last posting, but I forgot to post it with everything else I talked about. So, without any more delay, here is the video I made as an entry for Katy Perry's "Firework" Contest. This video, however, will not count as an entry because if you're talking about another person, that person must be able to give written consent and they must still be living (and not deceased). Which is totally screwed up, but whatever. Rules are rules. I still wanted to share with everyone the video because it took me a while to make, and I'm hoping it gives people a better perspective of how I saw SGT James C Robinson. Because to me and the rest of my family, he wasn't SGT James C Robinson, he's...Jimmy.

With eternal love and blessings,
Officially Inspired

p.s. GOD BLESS YOU 101st AIRBORNE!

Sounds Like Life to Me.

2010-11-06T11:42:00.002-04:00

^he's excited because I'm posting again?

Unfortunately, I will not be tying in Darryl Worely's amazing song in any other way than the title.

I deeply apologize for the lack of posting - again. There hasn't been a whole lot going on in my life - or at least anything that people in general would be interested in and/or that I felt like writing about. But I do have some updates and some good news, which, yes, surprises me too.

Update nombre une) I finally finished THINK OF A NUMB3R by John Verdon. Which makes me very happy - although it is the first book since I finished SISTERS RED by Jackson Pearce back in - what? - July? Anyway, I look forward to reviewing this book, however I'm really nervous I'll give some of the plot line away. I guess that's okay, though, because majority of my audience (if you guys are still out there?) is my age and most 14 year olds probably should not read this book...

Update nombre deux) I finally started reading MOCKINGJAY by Suzanne Collins, the third and final book in THE HUNGER GAMES trilogy. It picks up almost directly where CATCHING FIRE left off. But it's kind of bitter-sweet to be reading it. I love these books so much and to be reading the final one, knowing after this there will be no more? It truly makes me sad. But I must read it because I already know it will be amazing.

Update nombre trois) Just wanted to give a shout-out to my wonderful uncle who has put in a lot of hard work these past two years to try to make our country a better place. Hopefully, with the midterm election results, this will be the case. Uncle, I'm so proud of you and thank you for what you do for our country!

Update nombre quatre) It snowed last night. It all melted before it hit the ground and none of it stuck. But it snowed. November 5th, 2010, it snowed. Can I get out my pea coat yet??

Good news - for once) I started writing again, this past Tuesday. Granted, it was a poem about Jim that a certain SSG told me wasn't done and needed to be finished. So I finally finished it - over two months later. I won't post it here, nor anywhere, because it is VERY personal and probably goes a little more in depth into my emotions than it should. However, this is a good thing, that I've started writing. Even if it's nothing major yet, it's a start. I don't count the letters I write to Jim as writing, though, because that's not creative writing, really. I'm hoping this is the beginning of getting myself to be me again. Let's keep our fingers crossed.

Hope you all have a blessed weekend.

Au revoir,
Officially Inspired

Hereafter

2010-10-22T10:47:00.000-04:00

So this weekend is a pretty packed weekend - so packed that I literally sat for about a half hour trying to figure out how to fit everything in. I'm finally going to get some community service in this weekend, I'm going shopping with my lovely grandmother, going on a Spyder (motorcycle thing) ride with my beloved uncle, and possibly going to see a movie.

Before I talk about this amazing movie I want to go see, I want to talk a little bit about the don't ask don't tell policy and the revoking/re-instating of it. First of all, I've come to the conclusion that soldiers and the military itself weren't ready for this huge change. Secondly, why on earth should it matter if a soldier is gay? I'm sorry, but if you're fighting in Afghanistan, I really don't think you'll be wondering who you think is cute or that you're interested in in your unit. And vise versa, I don't think you'll be worrying about who's gay in your unit. There are a million other things that should be, and very well are, on their minds over there. Homophobia isn't one of them. Thirdly, I want to know who decided to listen to that judge? My cousin told me that the judge didn't even have power of the army, because the army has their own 'court system' and are not under federal law, therefore the judge had no authority to make that jurisdiction over the army. Now, as for putting it back in effect, it's better that it's in effect than if it's not. If it's not in effect, no homosexual may serve in the military. If it is in effect, homosexuals can serve, but not openly. I do think it's a dumb of the army to say that someone has to hide who they are to be in the services, considering that these people choose to be in the military, and are not forced. However, I do understand where they are coming from, but hopefully one day anybody can serve in the military and be themselves. Just because they have different feelings doesn't mean that they fight any differently nor do they care less about the mission they're on. If they're fighting for their freedom and for ours, what difference does it make?

So this movie I want to see - "Hereafter" - looks incredibly amazing and actually makes me want to start writing the story project I have in my head and I kind of want to start writing. I'm pretty sure that made absolutely no sense. I don't really want to talk about this project, but I will say it's totally different than SOLACE (which is on hold until further notice, if I haven't told you guys already) and that it's a lot more personal than SOLACE, which is kind of hard to imagine. Anyways, here's the trailer for "Hereafter"

I hope you all have a good weekend.

With eternal love and blessings,
Officially Inspired

School

2010-10-16T09:53:00.000-04:00

So I'm a bit mad at school. It makes it very hard to read anything. With homework and student council and after school activities, it's a lot to handle when last year I had a lot of free time. Granted, I don't have all that much homework, but getting everything done and making sure it's done the way my teachers want it and everything like that, it's a bit tiring. So needless to say, by the time I get a minute to read I really don't want to because I've been sitting around doing school work for a while.

Hence why I've been reading John Verdon's AMAZING Think of a Number for...you know, a few months. It's a really, really, really good book and I feel so bad that I'm taking so long to get through it! It's a bit adult, so I'm in no way saying that everybody my age should read it. It's got some gruesome details in it in relation to the murders and the language is very true to the cop stereotype.

Anyway, I really don't have anything to talk about. Nothing's really going on. Oh! I could post a few pictures from homecoming!

Me sitting down

Me and my "date"

(no, I didn't take him to the dance...I thought about it)

Me and my cousin "chocking" my brother

Me and my Papaw

Me with the flag

The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner by Stephenie Meyer

2010-10-02T12:13:00.000-04:00

A short second life for Bree Tanner, indeed, but not such a short title.

The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner by Stephenie Meyer was the thirteenth book I read this year.

I was so excited when I heard that Stephenie Meyer was having a new Twilight book coming out! I'm a die-hard twi-hard, so how could I not be jumping up and down in anticipation? I told a lot of my friends about it, but a lot of them didn't remember who Bree was in Eclipse. Now, you must keep in mind that a lot of my friends, including myself, read the books before they were popular and everybody wanted Edward to bite them. With that said, the last time any of us had read Eclipse was a while back. Except for the friends that read books over and over, which I can't do, no matter how much I love the book. Long story short, it took them a while to remember Bree.

I was interested in this story - it was a different side to the vampires that I've grown to love in Meyer's world. I bought the book a few days after it came out. Before I actually begin to review the book, I'd like to point out a few things. A few months ago I got this comment on YouTube saying that Stephenie Meyer doesn't care about her fans and she doesn't do anything to help the community or anything like that. I can prove both of these statements false by only using this book as an example (although there are many more). When this book first came out, it was available online to fans - FOR FREE - for a limited amount of time. I mean, Stephenie had to make some revenue some way, so they couldn't keep it on there forever, but she wanted it to be free to her fans at all times. It was her way of saying thank you to her devoted readers who have made her story a success and have continued to support her and love her characters. Also, this book was a contributor to the Red Cross. One dollar from every book sold went to the Red Cross to help with the earthquake relief efforts in Haiti and Chile. I know one dollar doesn't sound like a whole lot, but in only the first two weeks of its release, an estimated 700,000 copies were sold - that's $700,00 right there - in only TWO WEEKS. Seven-hundred-thousand dollars.

Now, onto the review:

This novel was very different from the rest of the Twilight Saga, because you're not dealing with the perspective of a human, nor the life style of the 'vegitarian' vampires. These vampires kill without mercy and whenever they're hungry. They believe that the sun will turn them to ashes and that they must stay indoors at all times when the sun is up. It's a surprisingly dark side to the teen series that girls (and guys - whom rock by the way) have fallen completely and irrevocably in love with.

With that said, I think the fact that it was so different made me take so long to get through it. Also, knowing how the story ends, it made it a lot harder. Not only do I have difficulty finishing a book if I figure out how it ends or if someone ruins the ending for me ahead of time, but also I fell in love with Bree and knowing her ending made me not want to finish it.

The book was still great, don't get me wrong. It was humorous and aggravating that Bree and her fellow "newborns" don't know the Volturi and other vampire rules, but that made me realize just how much the Cullens do know and how important it is that they know it. With Riley (the ring-leader of the newborn army) keeping them in the dark - both figuratively and literally - it creates a lot more problems than it spares them.

Another thing about this book that somewhat bothered me - no Edward. Well, until the end. But his name is never mentioned. But it at the end it explains a lot as to what was going on with Bree in Eclipse that we couldn't really understand before this book.

If you want to read this book, read Eclipse first - it will kind of ruin Eclipse for you if you don't.

With eternal love and blessings,
Officially Inspired

Spirit Bound by Richelle Mead

2010-09-26T18:05:00.000-04:00

The twelfth book I read this year was SPIRIT BOUND by Richelle Mead. This is the fifth book in the Vampire Academy series, so it's going to be tricky to review this book without giving away what happens in other books. Therefore, this review is really going to suck. But here we go.

This book picks up a short time after where the fourth book leaves off. Rose is taking her trials to become an official guardian. After completing her trials, she sets off of the journey she promised herself would be the last one that would end everything that she'd left unfinished. Rose takes her best friend, Lissa, who, she can tell, doesn't really want to go with her, but Lissa already promised her that she would stick with her on this. Throughout the journey, Rose and Lissa gather up a few more people to help them out and they were fervently on trying to accomplish the one thing that will complete Rose's mission - although it may be a lost cause. All they can do is hope it works.

When the time comes to use said one thing, something happens and people don't believe it. They keep someone locked up because they are still scared of said person. Then some stuff happens and people try to figure things out and at the end...well, nothing works out like it was supposed to.

I really can't say any more than I already have and I'm aware that this review really sucks, but I refuse to ruin a series for someone because this is the 5th out of 6 books. But you should read the series!

With eternal love and blessings,
Officially Inspired

Jackson Pearce SIGNING!

2010-09-24T16:02:00.000-04:00

Last night my friend, my dad, and myself attended a book signing as the 10th stop of the "Smart Chicks Kick It" tour. There were six authors in attendance, but I went for one in particular. The lovely Jackson Pearce of course! I was so excited when I saw that Jackson Pearce was coming to Ohio - not that far away from me either - because that meant I could possibly talk my parents into taking me. It's far easier to do this than to try to convince them to take me to Georgia to go to a book signing/ book release for said author. Trust me, I've tried.

I already had a copy of As You Wish and Sisters Red signed by Jackson from when I won the May Contest prize. However, I also had a first printing of As You Wish that didn't have Jackson's lovely John Hancock. So I took this book with me to the signing and also bought a book by another author that was there.

The book signing started out with swag being given away and Q&A and things like that. They also did a raffle which you could win a big thing of swag...but I didn't have a ticket. I thought that was the only thing the ticket was for. Turns out, no, you needed a ticket to get in line to get your book(s) signed. So my dad had to go buy one. We arrived at the book store around 6pm, the signing started at 7pm. I was there an hour early and we ended up with ticket #70 out of 70. That was great. It was like 9-9:30 by the time I finally got to have Jackson sign my book and talk to her. It was kinda cool because as she was talking to me, she just goes "Oh, are you Hanna *******?" which made me feel all special. I made a shirt for the event (not posting pictures because I messed the back up because I forgot the 'c' in protect.) the front said: "Special enough to make a Jinn fall in love." and the back said: "Scarlett's Motto: Act like a dragonfly, Hunt like me, and always protect Silas and Rosie" (a Muhammad Alli parody.) Oh, Jackson posted a picture of the front of my shirt HERE...you know, after taking a video of it. ;)

It was so worth it standing in that line and waiting to meet Jackson Pearce. I've always been a fan of hers - since before her first book came out when I found her on YouTube. You know, I always say that Twilight is my favorite book because it changed me in a way that only one book can, it made me want to read and write. And I always say that Stephenie Meyer is my favorite author because she unintentionally made that change in me. However, I'd really have to say that Jackson Pearce and Leanna Renee Hieber are more my favorite than Stephenie Meyer because after meeting them, they're just how I expected them. So down to earth and very interacting with fans. I mean, some authors can't transition out of their world that they've created, and sometimes that can make some authors kinda scary. But Jackson Pearce is so her own person and no amount of fame or compliments or anything like that could change her. It's just really good to see that good people who have good ideas and good personalities actually do get published, which is very inspiring. The fact that Jackson can stay level-headed and not get a big head from writing such AMAZING books, it just really goes to show you what kind of people actually write the books you love. It's like my friend and I realized last night; When I fall in love with a book, I don't just fall in love with the characters. I fall in love with the story, the back-story, the characters, the plot, everything that went into it, and the author. I guess I've really realized in the past that not many people take time to research the author of the book they're reading. They might read the author bio or check out their website, but never really take the time to appreciate the author for writing a book that they so enjoyed. So, Jackson:

THANK YOU FOR WRITING AS YOU WISH AND SISTERS RED!

If you ever have the chance to read Jackson's book, definitely do. And if you ever have the chance to go to a book signing for her, most definitely go. You will not regret it. You will have a great time, I promise!

With eternal love and blessings,

Officially Inspired aka Hanna

Oh! P.S. My cousin and her husband are having a baby boy! Because you all totally care:

Thank You

2010-09-11T20:39:00.002-04:00

The past two weeks of my life have been indescribably the worst of my life that I can remember. And they are indirectly a result of this day. 9-11.

Nine years ago today two planes were flown into the Twin Towers, the Pentagon, and one went down in a Pennsylvania field. Hundreds of people were killed, and we still mourn them. This year I didn't have time to put together a tribute, which is something I feel extremely horrible about, but seeing the pictures of that day just makes me want to throw up.

Nine years later we are at war as a result of these attacks. The combat troops have been pulled out of Iraq, but the war still ranges in Afghanistan. I thought that I knew well enough the cost of war, having my cousin, Jimmy, fight twice in Iraq and once in Afghanistan. On August 28th, 2010 I discovered I hadn't even scratched the surface of just how much the war effects me. August 28th, 2010 was the worst day of my life that I can remember. Because on this day Heaven decided that they needed my hero.

I'd like to take a minute to say thank you to each and every person who has lost their life defending our country or in the event of an enemy attack, such as 9-11. As I said in my speech at Jimmy's services, people always say that freedom isn't free, but I never imagined it could cost this much.

As an insufficient thank you - to Jim and to every other fallen hero - I'd like to share with you all a poem I wrote for Jim on September 3, 2010.

"A Heart Forever at Half-Mast"

All gave some
Some gave all.
You fell into the latter
It's not fair -
Though I guess it never is.
So much to live for
So much to die for
When does one out-weigh the other?

Where is the line drawn
Between dutiful service
And inhumane violence?
Where do we reach the point
When we say "No more"
When we agree that enough's enough
And bring you home
And we find a better way to do this?

Heroes fall
And families mourn
We carry on your legacy
And cling tight to your honor.
Is there a time
When we stop crying?
When we can speak your name without pain?
When our hearts are no longer at half-mast?

You are my hero
And so I say
Thank you
For serving
For protecting
For being brave and strong
For being my cousin.

Medals
Articles
People calling night and day
Even a Purple Heart
And we can't even be happy for you.
Yes, we all gave some,
But you gave all.

"The nation which forgets its defenders will itself be forgotten"

Sorry

2010-09-05T11:18:00.000-04:00

I appologize for the lack of posting. This past week has been hard on me and my family. Writing hasn't seemed important, and there's really nothing I want to talk about with the general public. Both of my blogs have taken a back seat, for now. I'm not sure when I will be back to somewhat regular posts, maybe at the end of this coming week or shortly there after. I just ask that you understand that I need some time to get through this...impossible hardship.

Thanks,
Hanna

One of my many loves

2010-08-28T19:01:00.000-04:00

One thing that I love is office supplies. I love going to Staples, and I love organizing my desk. I'd like to organize my room like an office, but it would never stay like that. So with that said, when we went to get school supplies today I found a desk organizer for a drawer. Which I so needed. So my afternoon 'project' was this:

Before:

What I used:

And after:

And I also found $20 going through my desk! Whoo! That's always a nice bonus! It's like I'm getting paid to organize!

Hope everyone's weekend is grand! Let me know what you want to hear about on my other blog. It's been a while since I posted!

With eternal love and blessings,
Officially Inspired

Fan Moment and much more

2010-08-27T17:44:00.000-04:00

So if you guys don't know this already, I'm kind of a nerd. I mean, hard-core, care-about-the-stuff-no-one-else-does NERD. With that said, when I was told that a local news station was coming to my high school (my favorite news station, actually), I kept wondering "OMG WHO ARE THEY GONNA SEND?!? I HOPE THEY SEND FRANK!!!!" Well, guess what?

THEY SENT FRANK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My goodness, guys, I can't even tell you how much of a fan moment I had - when I didn't have to get up at such an ungodly early time, I used to watch him every day (he's the weather man) and he always made my day seem less sucky because he always had jokes and made me smile. My days probably wouldn't have been as good as they were without him. Even now, I really enjoy watching him. We don't always have the news on in the morning because my sister is asleep, but when we do I always make sure it's on that station. So when I say they had sent him, I freaked out. I wanted to say hi so bad. Now, before you get any ideas, no I don't have a crush of Frank, he reminds me of my Uncle Dave and that would be very wrong. But I couldn't go say hi because he wasn't near me, even when I had to go out with the student councils and lose tug-a-war so horribly it's not even funny. I was sad, very, very sad.

But then...

The freshmen had a meeting after the pep rally and we had to all sit on one side of the bleachers, which meant I had to walk across the gym floor. Where Frank was standing. O. M. G. So I went up to him and asked him to sign my school shirt. He was so nice about it, and he's just like he is on TV. I was so excited and all I managed to say was "Are you Frank Marzullo? You're my favorite!" He smiled and said "Thanks" and agreed to sign my shirt, asked my name, and drew a sun shine by his signature. (See picture for proof. And of course, my brother and friend had to follow suite - of course my friend lent me his Sharpie for my fandom moment.) It was A-MAZ-ING!

In other news, I got Mockingjay yesterday, but haven't started it yet. I'm still working on Think of a Numb3r by John Verdon, hoping to finish that soon. I also got a copy of Mockingjay for my librarian from last year. It took the library a while to get Catching Fire in when it came out and a lot of people got annoyed, so I thought I'd just grab on for my favorite person ever. I think it'll be a nice surprise in her mail box on Monday. :D

We stopped by the Jr High after school today, but only ran into two of my many teachers. None of which I had little gifts for. Guess that just means we'll have to go back soon.

Let's see, what else is going on? My school has a big game tonight - first of the season. It's an away game and I was going to go, but now I don't really feel like it. I'm tired and my stomach hurts, so I'm not going to go. But....GO WARRIORS! Hope we do great tonight!

Guess I've gone on long enough about this stuff. First week of high school down, many more to go. Oh well, it's not as bad as I thought it would be. Being a freshman, though, I feel really little.

Hope you all are off to a great school year, and here's to a great weekend! Don't know about you, but I'm sleeping in tomorrow! So incredibly tired - and only after one week!

With eternal love and blessings to Frank,
Officially Inspired

Mockingjay and 1st day

2010-08-24T20:10:00.000-04:00

Hey, that rhymes.

As everyone should know, Mockingjay (the third and final instalment in the Hunger Games trilogy) comes out TODAY! So, umm, Walmart, if you're listening, I'd really like you to get new popular releases in your stores on the day it comes out. It's really a pain and an inconvenience to drive for a half hour to 45 minutes to a Barnes and Noble or Borders. (Hint: Books are cheaper at B&N, especially if you have a discount. Borders over-prices things.) So if you could please take this into consideration, I'd really appreciate it. Thanks ever-so much.

Another thing (which you may or may not know) is that today was my first day of the scary, crazy, big world that is High School. Most of my peers were so excited to be there, to be starting in this world of freedom, and I kind of got the feeling that I was the only one that was nervous and scared more than excited and pumped. Everybody was kind of looking forward to beginning their high school careers, but I really just wanted to jump off of the bus at the Junior High and see how long it took for people to notice me. (By the way, if any of my Jr High teachers are reading this, I MISS YOU GUYS! PLEASE TAKE ME BACK!) Today wasn't so bad, I guess, but tomorrow all of the upperclassmen will be there, so that may be scary.

In other news, I really don't have anything else to talk about tonight. I'll just talk to you guys later, I'm sleepy.

With eternal love and blessings,
Officially Inspired

The Last Hoorah of Summer 2010

2010-08-21T19:57:00.000-04:00

My summer vacation sadly comes to an end on Tuesday, but I have to go to the school Monday afternoon until 7:30. And from there it's on to high school - still doesn't seem possible.

This past week I went to the lake with my grandparents and had a blast! My dad and sister came down one day and they seemed to have a good time too. We also went to the Bengals's preseason game Friday night after returning home. And I also go my back pack for my freshman year. Here's a video I made about it:

Being out on the lake, you realize how small you are in the great big world, and it kind of makes you realize what's important in your life.

The football crowd isn't exactly the best crowd to hang with, but it was kind of cool seeing how many people come out to support the Bengals - despite their past score record and criminal record.

Hope you all enjoy these last few days of summer!

With eternal love and blessings,
Officially Inspired

"Rain is a Good Thing"

2010-08-16T12:36:00.000-04:00

In the words of Luke Bryan, Rain Is A Good Thing.

Ohio has experienced some thunder storms the past few days, which is good for a couple of reasons. One, it will possibly cool down the ungodly humid and hot weather. Two, the corn needs the water :). And three, thunder storms seem to make me write more and what I write is better then. Not exactly sure why, but I think it's just the atmosphere of the thunder rumbling and the lightning flashing, the rain slapping the windows. Ahhh.

Oh, and the sky after a storm isn't too bad either. (See above picture.)

This picture, though, kind of just describes Ohio's weather perfectly.

It's got a little bit of everything, doesn't it?

With eternal love and blessings,
Officially Inspired

Blah

2010-08-10T13:24:00.000-04:00

Hey guys. Sorry for the lack of posting. This past week has been pretty hard on me, and I'm still not back to my normal self. I haven't been able to write hardly anything and reading hasn't held any interest for me either.

So, instead of making myself read or write, I have been searching the TV schedule for any episodes of Criminal Minds, Bones, CSI: Miami, CSI: NY, NCIS, Without A Trace, or Rookie Blue. For some reason I've become obsessed with police and criminology shows. I guess they just get my mind off of things.

I've also been browsing around online - mainly YouTube - and I found this wonderfully amazing video. The musician's name is Ricardo Munoz and he's trying to get his music out there. He has a record deal, but he must first get more views and more publicity before anything can happen with his music. So watch it, love it, send it to people, watch it again and again and again.

Oh, and here is an adorable video of my sister. Yes, go ahead watch it over and over and over. Trust me, it gets funnier every time.

Hope you all are having a great week so far!

With eternal love and blessings,
Officially Inspired

Hard Times

2010-08-04T11:28:00.001-04:00

Hey readers!

I just wanted to stop by to say a few things: #1 Happy Birthday to my Daddy! Daddy, I still love you more than Rob!!! <3

#2 I would like to ask you guys to keep me and my family in your prayers. My great-grandma passed away yesterday at the age of 97. This is a tremendous loss for everyone who knew her. I will be reading a poem that I wrote at her funeral, so also pray that I can get through that. Thank you guys so much.

With eternal love and blessings,

Officially Inspired

August?

2010-08-01T16:12:00.000-04:00

Oh my gosh, guys. I cannot believe that it's August already. Where has the summer gone? It's like after the 4th of July, summer zips by and suddenly you'll find yourself sitting in school once again. Although, I still have like 22 days before that happens. Still, it seems like no time at all. Here's to hoping the summer goes by slowly from here on out!

Wednesday is my dad's birthday, which means we've been celebrating. Last night we went to my favorite pizza place ever with three of my cousins, and tonight we're celebrating with some other family. We got an ice cream cake for tonight. Wish I hadn't gotten that ice cream cone when we got the cake. Now I'm feeling kinda sick. Guess I'm not like my Uncle in that regard. ;)

The other night I decided to disconnect from the Internet, turn the TV and radio off, turn off all lights except for two of the five on my lamp (and my nightlight - never turn that one off. If I do, it doesn't turn back on.) and write. For an hour. Uninterrupted. It went well except for people deciding to text me. Of all of the times of the day. 9:40-10:40 was the time they wanted to talk. Next time I'm turning my phone off too. Anyway, this really worked. I ended up finishing chapter 19 and began chapter 20. How long can you go on feeling like you accomplished something without realizing you haven't been doing anything productive since? Three days too much?

Anyway, I would suggest doing this. It's fun, in a way. I felt like a writer for the first time in a long time. If I end up moving my room to the basement when my sister gets a bit older, I will demand an 'office room' to be built onto my room, though. It's kind of distracting (and sometimes helpful) to have Robert Pattinson starring at you when you're trying to write. And pictures of my cousin Jimmy on my desk, and my cousin Brent that's on my wall behind me. The pictures of Leanna Renee Hieber from the newspaper, though, those are helpful. And not only because it reminds me that her ghosts are going to come and get me if I stop writing. :D

Well, dear readers, I am going to end this post.

With eternal love and blessings,
Officially Inspired

The Darkly Luminous Fight for Persephone Parker by Leanna Renee Hieber

2010-07-30T12:16:00.000-04:00

The eleventh book I read this year was THE DARKLY LUMINOUS FIGHT FOR PERSEPHONE PARKER by the lovely LEANNA RENEE HIEBER.

This review is really gonna suck. It seems the more I love the book, the harder it is to review. And especially with the fact that this book is the second in the series, it's hard to review knowing that I'm going to give some things away about the first book (The Strangely Beautiful Tale of Miss Percy Parker).

The books starts off directly where the last one left off. I'll just paste the email I sent to Leanna to show you how epic I found this book:

Leanna,

I just finished your wonderful second novel! OH. MY. GOD! Leanna, I absolutely love it! Now I know why you justified at my school a month ago that if you had to kill a character it was okay because you wrote about ghosts.

I think I cried more when Alexi cried than when ______ died. Leanna...I don't know what to say. And Percy's ________! And Michael and Rebbecca! And Elijah and Josie! And Alexi... my God, Alexi! I love him!

I loved the whole book and I'm so sorry that it took me four whole weeks to finish it! I feel so bad, but now I cannot wait for "A Midwinter Fantasy"! *I loved the foreshadowing by Percy in relation to the upcoming novel, by the way.*

I don't know what else to say except, I LOVE YOU! You're such a great writer and your books are amazing! I'm so proud of you and you're such an inspiration! God Bless you!

Love always,
Hanna

As you could probably tell, I have a very hard time putting this book to words. I think what I liked most about this book is that Percy definitely has more of a backbone in this book than she did in the first. And as much as I love strong characters, I think Percy needed to be somewhat weaker in the first book so that you could see the change in her. In book two, Percy is more willing to take risks to help and save the ones she loves. She doesn't quite understand who she is, but she's learning and accepting it all at once. Alexi is a great help to her, as well.

The Guard openly welcome her. The Headmistress, of course, is a bit jealous, but she'd never admit it.

The language in this book is fabulous! It will make you not only feel like you're in Victorian London, but also WISH you were there and could have a permanent residence there.

I cannot praise this series enough! Seriously, go read these books! I promise you, there's something for everyone in this Strangely Beautiful world!!!!!

I rate this book 5/5 stars!!

With eternal love and blessings,
Officially Inspired

2010-07-26T12:54:00.000-04:00

Hey guys! I found some pretty cool videos on Tangle which is also refered to as "GodTube". I really like these two. I couldn't find the "embed" button on the first one, sorry.

http://www.godtube.com/featured/video/coffey-anderson-i-gotta-feeling-christ-mix-bep-cover&utm_source=newsletter072610&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=weeklytopvideos

Check them out! I really like them. Well, I really don't have anything else to blog about today...

With eternal love and blessings,
Officially Inspired

Toy Story 3

2010-07-24T13:13:00.000-04:00

I went to see Toy Story 3 yesterday with my dad and my brother. I'd been wanting to go see it since it came out, and just now had the chance. I even re-watched the first two to remind myself how much I love those movies. I don't care what other people may think about me watching Toy Story in my free time, and I did try to use my little sister as an excuse, but she soon got distracted. I realized that there were several hints in Toy Story 2 as to what Toy Story 3 would be about.

Toy Story 3 definitely lived up to my expectations, and it's amazing how suspenseful a movie about toys can be. But so many times you're really not sure if Buzz and Woody will save the other toys. Not all of the gang is still there, a lot have been sold, but Andy held onto the main characters. The whole movie is pretty much about growing up and moving on, from a toy's point of view. They haven't been played with in years, and when given the opportunity to be played with again they have to choose to go against what they've always lived by - it's their duty to be there for Andy no matter what - or stay in a box somewhere.

I have to admit, I cried. It amazed me how emotional a movie about toys can be, but it was really sad and touching. It made me want to go home and find Mommy Bear (my favorite stuffed animal) and hug her and promise her I'd never stop loving her. And I did. Never again will I stuff her into my closet and pile a bunch of crap on top of her. When I was a kid, if I spent the night anywhere, she went with me. I slept with her every night, up until I was about ten. Of course, I didn't get her until I was like seven. She belonged to my mom, and my grandma gave her to me. But you know, I still have to take my mom's old pillow with me when I go anywhere over night, and I have to have it to sleep.

I think the whole point of Toy Story is to make us realize that no matter how old you are, some part of your childhood still lives inside you. Memories, friends, games...toys. And you're never too old for any of it.

Go see this movie!

With eternal love and blessings,
Officially Inspired

Out of the Dust by Karen Hesse

2010-07-23T14:03:00.000-04:00

The tenth book I read this year was Out of the Dust by Karen Hesse.

I've really put this review off, because I don't want to review it. But I want to review other books I've read, so I have to get this one out of the way.

Personally, I didn't like this book. It was a pretty quick read due to the fact that it was written as poetry. But I have a hard time getting through books written that way. Added to the fact that it was historical fiction (which I'm VERY picky about), this book held little interest for me.

The story is set in Oklahoma during the Dust Bowl. Everything Billie Jo has ever known is dust. Her whole life revolves around keeping out the dust - usually unsuccessfully - and cleaning up after a dust storm has rolled through.

But Billie Jo never thought that one day tragedy would strike her family, and worse, a lot of people would blame her for the accident. Billie Jo soon discovers that blame is unthinkingly put upon people based upon how an outsider views it. Billie Jo also finds her relationship with her father is strained, because she can never forgive him for leaving that pale of kerosene by the stove.

As Billie Jo recovers from the accident, she decides she'll never again play the piano. Especially not her Mama's piano. As her life has and is changing desperately, Billie Jo escapes the dust. Only to realize that what you go out looking for is never as good as what you had. She realizes that home is home and family is family. And dust might just have to be part of that family.

I give this story 2/5 stars.

With eternal love and blessings,
Officially Inspired

People there's a difference

2010-07-20T12:44:00.000-04:00

Okay, I have a pet peeve (okay, I have a lot of them) and I've wanted to write about this one for a while.

I absolutely cannot stand it when someone calls me an author. I am not an author, I am a writer. Let's talk about the difference between the two, shall we?

When it's okay to call a writer an author: When you're reading something they wrote and you say something about the AUTHOR of the piece feeling a certain way, writing a certain way, or anything along those lines.

That's basically the only exception. Now, you may pose the question "What's the difference between an author and a writer? Here's my answer: A publishing contract.
Until you're published, you're a writer. An author is someone that has their name out there and it's attached to a book, a poem, a newspaper article.

There was this girl in Power of the Pen, and one day she said "I'm an author...I write things." I wanted to tell her that she's not an author. Yes, she's a good writer - very detailed and she knows her stuff - but she's by no means an author. On my other blog in my introduction post I said that I would never claim to be an expert or even an author. I've had questions about not considering myself an author. But I don't. People, don't you see? Until I'm published I will not - never - refer to myself as an author. And even then, I might still refer to myself as a writer. Because that's what I am, I write. I'd be the author of my books, but I'm still a writer.

Does this make sense to anybody else but me?

With eternal love and blessings,
Officially Inspired

One Year Ago Today

2010-07-18T12:41:00.000-04:00

One year ago today I finished draft one of my novel. I can't believe that it's been a whole year, it doesn't seem possible. But then again, it really seems like it should have been longer. I've achieved so much in the year that it really doesn't seem possible that I could've written that draft. I kid you not, nobody will ever see that first draft ever again. I considered burning it at my friend's bonfire, but then I remembered I had notes on it.

As many of you probably remember, I posted a video of me finishing my first draft on my YouTube page, as well as here on this blog. It was a very emotional thing for me, and people ask me how it feels to finish a draft. It's something I can't explain because I feel that you can only know the feeling if you've experienced it. It's kind of like winning a gold medal in the Olympics (or, you know, eight.) for your country. You wonder how amazing that would feel, maybe even dream about it, but you'll never know unless you win one for yourself. Okay, maybe that should've been compared to publishing your book - because I still can't imagine how that feels and I dream about that. So, finishing your first draft is kind of like *bad example* shooting a gun. You'll never know what it feels like unless you do it. And from there, you can figure out if you like shooting guns (writing the story) or if you'd rather take up a different hobby (start a different story).

Either way, I just want to encourage people to realize one thing. No matter how bad you think your first draft is, keep writing it. Finish it. Every first draft sucks. But at least finish it, shoot that gun, so you know what it feels like. Then, decide if you want to put the time and energy into the story to write a second draft, or if you'd rather put that time and energy into writing a different story, or something else in general. But do me a favor, always save that first draft (don't burn it) because you never know when it might strike you as 'worth while' again.

Expect me to be party-dancing tonight at 9:24pm tonight!!

With eternal love and blessings,
Officially Inspired

*And on a side note, Jane Austen died on this day in 1817. :'(
**And Brian, at Twilight Teez (no longer in business) had a daughter who died shortly after birth on this day last year. :'(

Strangely Beautiful #3!!!

2010-07-17T16:02:00.000-04:00

Leanna Renee Hieber recently announced the title for the third "Strangely Beautiful" book! It's a prequel to the first book, due to be released in spring of 2011. The title will be:

THE PERILOUS PROPHECY OF GUARD AND GODDESS

Ahh! I'm soooooooooooooo excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Book 2.5 will be coming out in late September of 2010!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Motavation

2010-07-16T23:58:00.000-04:00

Okay, so as anyone who knows me probably knows I'm not the easiest person to motavate when I don't want to be motavated. Now, before I go on with this, let me say that being motavated and be determined and devoted are two VERY different things.

So my issue is that I can't get motavated to write. And it's not even that I'm at a point where I don't know what I want or need to write next, it's just that I can't write it. Not that it's a scene that I don't like or that's a painful scene, no. I just can't write it. I have the words in my head, but I can't write it. It's not that I'm not devoted to the story or determined to put everything I have into it - it's just that I can get motavated. Perhaps it's because I usually don't get up until 11 - noon-ish.

I feel like I'm wasting my prime writing time in the summer because I've finished one whole chapter this whole summer. Anyone have any suggestions to cure this horrid condition that I'm sure has to be some kind of mental disease?

With eternal love and blessings,
Officially Inspired

Favorite Actor

2010-07-14T15:23:00.001-04:00

So, you all know my favorite actor is Robert Pattinson. But I've found another actor that I really enjoy. I don't have a crush on this one, just really appreciate who he is and how he plays in movies.

Nicholas Cage. I know, he's pretty popular. But over the past few days, I've realized why I love his movies.

I happened to end up watching "National Treasure the Book of Secrets" the other night. I LOVE National Treasure - probably two of my favorite movies. But then yesterday we had a storm, so my Direct TV went out. I asked my brother to go look for "Next" - a movie starring Nicholas Cage. It's also probably one of my favorite movies. Basically, the FBI are looking for Chris Johnson, an LA magician who can see the future to help prevent a nuclear attack on the United States. It's an amazing movie, that for some reason didn't get much attention. If you haven't seen it, I highly recommend you rent it. It's rated PG-13. It has some language and a few scenes, and violence.

I really want to go see Sorcerer's Apprentice. I think it came out today. :)

~Officially Inspired~

Ugh Suspense Kills Me!

2010-07-10T16:57:00.000-04:00

Okay, I know that suspense is pretty much essential in a book, but it really kills me.

For example, I'm nearly done with Sisters Red by Jackson Pearce (I know, getting through it fast), and it's the height of the plot. Although, I kinda guessed what happens a while ago, it's still like "OhMyGodWhat'sGonnaHappen?!?". However, I'm the kind of person that expects the worst so I can't stand to read it all when I have a bad feeling about things. Suspense really kills me. Am I alone?

Another example, if I'm watching the #1 Movie in America January - June (Remember Me) with anyone that's never seen the movie, it's so suspenseful for me to the point of where I almost feel sick! I know what happens, but it's such a shocking ending that the viewer never expects it. I know I can't tell them, so I have to bite my tongue so much that I swear it'll bleed.

Ahh! I'm still kinda jumpy from the last chapter of Sisters Red. I'm like 10 tracks into disk 8/9. I love the book, but omg it's kinda killin' me here!

*Shamelessly goes back to reading.*

--Officially Inspired

A few things

2010-07-09T13:15:00.001-04:00

First off, today is the last day to enter a story and vote in the second writing competition on http://www.twoteensonedream.blogspot.com/ - which will probably close the polls and everything about ~~5pm EST tonight~~ 11:59pm EST tonight due to the fact that we had a tie in the voting process- so get a move on!

Secondly, I started reading Sisters Red by Jackson Pearce last night. I'm listening to the audio along with it, so I'm already over 100 pages in and I LOVE it!

Just wanted y'all to know!

With eternal love and blessings,
Officially Inspired

A Love Letter

2010-07-08T22:22:00.000-04:00

Dear Mr. Bron-bron James,

I would like to say up front that I respect that you must make your own decisions, and that you have every right to. As does every other human being on the face of this Earth and every extra-terrestrial in any other universe that might have been created.

Now, that that's over with, I would like to say that I am deeply and horribly upset by your decision to leave Cleveland (one of the best cities in the world) and join the Miami Heat. I would like you to know that if you chose Miami for the ocean-front view and everything, it will not be long before oil overtakes those sandy beaches. Would you have to worry about that in wonderful Ohio? NO! Also, the Cavaliers are such a wonderful team, and you have gone far with them. Not only this, but Cavalier fans welcomed you with wide open arms and supported you through thick and thin here in Ohio. Do you not see that you were loved? And since you were so loved, you must realize the anger your decision will cause. Not only did your fans love you, they loved the team. So do not expect Cavalier fans to suddenly become Heat fans because you went there. No sir, Ohio team fans are loyal and devoted - no matter what (hence why the Bengals have any fans left).

You had great opportunities here with the Cavs, and just because your friend went to Miami... I just can't justify it. I think you could've gone a lot farther here in Cleveland than you will in Miami, but, again, it was your decision. You must've had good reasoning behind it. And it is no one's business to question or look into your decision - although everybody will. I'm just saying that though you will be missed in Cleveland, it might not be so pleasant when you return to face the Cavs. For some reason, fans might hold a grudge to this. I'm just saying.

With all due respect, this was a dumb decision. And I would like to repeat that you had every right to make the decision for yourself. I wish you nothing but luck, however I'm hoping that the Cavs will win it all this coming season.

Respectfully Yours,
Officially Inspired

I'm actually posting about sports?!?

2010-07-08T17:41:00.000-04:00

No, you have not accidentally clicked on my brother's blog. This is still Wonderful Writing Website and I'm still Officially Inspired. Do not worry. This shall be painless.

So, two big things are going on in the world of sports today.

Number one, Lebron James makes a decision whether he will be staying with the Cleveland Cavaliers (like he should) or if he will go to any other of the teams that have optioned him (this would be a bad choice). Tonight at nine o'clock EST ESPN will host an hour-long special. Be sure to turn in, or at least check in at the very end when they will announce (like American Idol does) the only thing we want to know.

Number two, and more importantly, tonight we will find out if JOEY VOTTO has made the All-Star game by fans voting for him. Reds fans have even made national news about VOTING VOTTO FEVER. Some people have voted over 100 times - and my brother has voted tons. It's really cool to see that even though the Reds aren't the best team out there and not many people outside of Ohio like them, the people that are fans do really appreciate and respect our players. It just makes me feel good that we've come together to get this excellent player who really deserves to be in the All-Star game, into the All-Star game. (Mike Pelfrey really deserved to be there too, and I think there's a lot of politics involved there outside of the fact that he has to pitch the day after.) Can't wait to see if he got in!!

Well, hope everyone's having a wonderful July so far! Lemme know if there's something you want me to blog about - I've kind of been running out of ideas with writing topics. :(

With eternal love and blessings,
Officially Inspired

Life As We Knew It by Susan Beth Pfeffer

2010-07-07T15:14:00.001-04:00

The ninth book I read this year was LIFE AS WE KNEW IT by Susan Beth Pfeffer.

I think one of the main things that makes this book scarily good is the fact that it's totally relatable. I mean, Miranda could have very well have been me, and her family very well could have been my family. Because of this reason, it really puts the whole situation into perspective. But not only this, for me it made me realize how much I have and how much of my life is considered a 'luxury'. Fresh food, the computer, chocolate. They're luxuries - not necessities.

Throughout this book, there's always the overhanging threat of dying. And I couldn't help but put myself in Miranda's shoes. There's always a conflict of the pros and cons of death vs life. And while Miranda never really considered it, it almost seemed like, in that situation, it'd be easier to just die instead of going on living like that. Not only would you no longer have to worry about yourself or have to deal with the hunger or the cold or the boredom, your family wouldn't have to worry about your safety and your healt or feeding you. And feeding you would be the hardest thing by far. One more mouth to feed makes a huge difference in a situation where food is limited. Honestly, I'm not sure how I could possibly live in this situation. I have to have fresh food, I can hardly stand to eat frozen things for more than a few days at lunch. Just the idea of having no fresh fruit or veggies, no milk or meat or anything - I don't know how I'd manage.

To me, it seemed like this book was always set in a time of calmness or panic. There was really no in between. Of course, that's understandable when the moon has pretty much collided with the Earth.

I really loved the characters of this novel - simply because they were relateable. First lets talk about Miranda's family. Her brother Johnny could have been my brother. Johnny's younger than Miranda and he loves baseball. The whole family worries about Johnny eating more than they worry about themselves eating because he's the youngest and if any of them survive, they want it to be him. Matt, Miranda's older brother. I don't know why, but it seems like characters always have a better relationship with their older brothers than any other sibling. Which is odd to me, but for some reason I always take a special liking to the older siblings. In this book I really liked Matt because he tried to never keep anything from Miranda - even if their mother did. Miranda's mom would tell Matt everything, because he was in college and he was the closest to her age. Miranda's parents got divorced a while back, so Matt is the only 'equal' she has left. Now, Mom herself kind of bothered me a bit - and I'm not exactly sure why. It seemed to me a lot of the time she was 'giving up' on herself. She wouldn't let her children give up, but she pretty much had. She was eating less and less and everything. I've heard people argue that it was a sacrifice for her children, but to me if you want your kids to stay strong through something like this, you have to be strong yourself.

Peter, Mom's boyfriend just kind of rubbed me the wrong way when we first met him. Although he always brought food, he also brought news of what the lastest disease people were dying from was. However, at the end seeing how hard he was working to help save people really made me appreciate what doctors do all the more. Honestly, I don't notice them enough because I simply hate the idea of going to the doctor. Megan, Miranda's friend, and her Pastor. Oh my gosh how they irritated me. It really bothered me that the Pastor was basically telling Megan to starve herself for the Lord. I mean, finding faith during this situation would be so important, but God would never want you to starve yourself. And the Pastor himself was eating well when all of his pupils weren't. Connection there? Yep. And then when Megan dies, the Church takes her in and burries her. But when Megan's mom committs suicide, the Church won't take her because it was an 'unholy' death. Wasn't Megan doing the same thing? Killing herself? It just really bothered me. Sammi, Miranda's other friend, ran off with a 40-year-old guy in hopes of escaping the disaster, hoping it'd be better somewhere else. She claimed she loved him, but who knows? Maybe she just thought he could provide better for her than her parents could. Finally, Dan, Miranda's boyfriend. I loved him, and so did Miranda. And then one day he left for the same reason Sammi did, but he didn't run off with a cougar. I just think in this situation you'd have to get used to the idea of people leaving you. Not knowing who your life will consist of day-to-day. It'd be hard.

And so I ask myself again, could I survive this?

I give this book 4/5 stars.

Robert Pattinson, Twilight, Harry Potter, and Everything Else fans unite!

2010-07-06T12:32:00.003-04:00

So, if you haven't already heard, the Harry Potter Alliance is in 3rd place for a running that wins it a bunch of money - but they need first place to win.

What the plan is is to get every Rob fan, Twi-hard, HP fan, and any other fan to go HERE and vote. Now, I am unable to vote due to the fact that I do not have a facebook. However, if u do, please go and vote. If not for yourself, for me. I think it's a great thing they're doing. And here's more info about it.

First, this is a video from YouTube Phenomenon and bestselling author, John Green:

Secondly, this is a post directly from http://www.robertpattinson.org/ talking about it.

Fans are awesome. You know it. We know it. But what you may not know is that in the past few years, fans of everything from Twilight to Harry Potter to True Blood and more have raised tons of money for different charities.

But what if we united? What if all the fans of all the different stories out there united to help the world? Our friends at the Harry Potter Alliance (who happen to be big Twilight fans as well) want to do just that as they work to form the first ever United Fan Coalition where fans of ALL KINDS (beyond Harry Potter) celebrate the stories, movies, and artists they love by helping the world.

Robert Pattinson fans are some of the most devoted and passionate people out there, with the numbers and the heart to make a difference in a big way! Imagine what Robert Pattinson fans could accomplish if we joined up with other fans to support literacy and raise money for charity. Rob himself has done wonderful things for charity in the past, and many Twilight fans have followed his example before now.

You can make a big difference with only a few seconds of your time. The HP Alliance is in 3rd place to win $250,000 which will help us all do more to get books to children in need, and save lives through raising money for charities.

To vote, CLICK HERE, press the green “Get started to vote” button, hit “Like” (if you haven’t already), and then press “Vote now.” Encourage your friends and other fans to vote too!

It’s a ridiculously simple way to help a great cause and honor the twilight actors (and the characters they play) who have dedicated themselves to making the world a better place. Thanks for the support!

I think this could really make a difference to a lot of people, so please go and vote! I know how much reading changed my life, and if it weren't for Twilight, I probably wouldn't be writing this right now - heck, I probably never would have written anything. Knowing that some kids aren't as fortunate as I am to have books to read and smell and love makes me feel bad and I really just want to help them out. And this is a simple way that only take a few seconds. Now, I know I sound like one of those sappy people from those commercials about hungry kids across the nation, but I'm begging you to please help out this charity. I also am very well aware of what Stephenie Meyer and Robert Pattinson have done for me, without even knowing I'm alive. They've given me so much, and perhaps in their honor I could pay them back a bit. There are several other people that come to mind that have helped form me as a writer and a person - Leanna Renee Hieber, for example. So I'm adding Strangely Beautiful fans to the list too. Let's do this together, guys! I feel bad since I can't vote, because people know I'm a die-hard twi-hard and I absolutely adore Robert Pattinson (perhaps a bit too much for my own good...). So, since I cannot vote, I thought I would help spread the word! I think that it's an amazing thing how fans can come together like this to make a difference. In all honesty, I think fans don't get enough respect because I truly believe that fans are the most loyal and passionate people out there. And that's what makes this possible. And perhaps now people will stop seeing us as just 'fangirls' or whatever. Keep it circulating and please help out the HP Alliance!

God Bless!!
Officially Inspired