Uta Hagen--

"We must overcome the notion that we must be regular...it robs you of the chance to be extraordinary and leads you to the mediocre."

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Thank You

The past two weeks of my life have been indescribably the worst of my life that I can remember.  And they are indirectly a result of this day.  9-11. 

Nine years ago today two planes were flown into the Twin Towers, the Pentagon, and one went down in a Pennsylvania field.  Hundreds of people were killed, and we still mourn them.  This year I didn't have time to put together a tribute, which is something I feel extremely horrible about, but seeing the pictures of that day just makes me want to throw up. 

Nine years later we are at war as a result of these attacks.  The combat troops have been pulled out of Iraq, but the war still ranges in Afghanistan.  I thought that I knew well enough the cost of war, having my cousin, Jimmy, fight twice in Iraq and once in Afghanistan.  On August 28th, 2010 I discovered I hadn't even scratched the surface of just how much the war effects me.  August 28th, 2010 was the worst day of my life that I can remember.  Because on this day Heaven decided that they needed my hero. 

I'd like to take a minute to say thank you to each and every person who has lost their life defending our country or in the event of an enemy attack, such as 9-11.  As I said in my speech at Jimmy's services, people always say that freedom isn't free, but I never imagined it could cost this much.

As an insufficient thank you - to Jim and to every other fallen hero - I'd like to share with you all a poem I wrote for Jim on September 3, 2010.

"A Heart Forever at Half-Mast"

All gave some
Some gave all.
You fell into the latter
It's not fair -
Though I guess it never is.
So much to live for
So much to die for
When does one out-weigh the other?

Where is the line drawn
Between dutiful service
And inhumane violence?
Where do we reach the point
When we say "No more"
When we agree that enough's enough
And bring you home
And we find a better way to do this?

Heroes fall
And families mourn
We carry on your legacy
And cling tight to your honor.
Is there a time
When we stop crying?
When we can speak your name without pain?
When our hearts are no longer at half-mast?

You are my hero
And so I say
Thank you
For serving
For protecting
For being brave and strong
For being my cousin.

People calling night and day
Even a Purple Heart
And we can't even be happy for you.
Yes, we all gave some,
But you gave all.

"The nation which forgets its defenders will itself be forgotten"


Tessie said...

Oh my gosh, I didn't expect that at all... I'm so sorry! It must be so hard, I can't even imagine, but we're all here for you, really.

Hanna said...

@ Tessie - It's definitely the hardest thing I've ever gone through. And thanks. It's amazing to me to see how many people come together to honor a fallen soldier, someone they never met nor did they know the family. I never thought I'd see good in this world after we got the news, but the support we've recieved - from all over, comments, signs, etc - it's really encouraging and I'm proud to say that my cousin gave his life defending this great country. Although I'd much rather have him with us, what he did wasn't meaningless as some people think.

Anonymous said...

I can't say things will get better because I've never been in your situation. And I'm sorry just doesn't seem to cut it. But I can tell you that after reading your blog and watching your vlog I felt like I knew Jimmy too. Not on a personal level by any means, but I was aware of him fighting for my freedom. He must have been an amazing person by the way you always spoke of love and praise for him. This is the first time I've ever been able to recognize the name of a fallen soldier and I know you and your family will be forever grateful of his services to our country. Things won't be easy, but you're strong, as is your family, especially if you've come this far and you're still able to share it with others.
I will keep your family in my prayers.

Hanna said...

@ Anonymous - Thank you so much for your kind words. Jimmy is a great guy and a great soldier. I can't imagine my life without him - past, present, or future - but I guess I just have to tell myself that he's never really gone. Although things would be so much easier with him, we'll all live on for my hero.

Anonymous said...

Hey, since I dont know how to comment on a poll, (: i am going to comment on this, sorry its this post, but I hardly can see the words on your page !!!