Uta Hagen--

"We must overcome the notion that we must be regular...it robs you of the chance to be extraordinary and leads you to the mediocre."

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Spring Break and a Reason

So this has been a pretty good (cold) spring break.  It was really different not going out of town this year.  Although, it was kind of nice not having to pack a suitcase full of clothes, not sure of what the weather would actually be like, and lugging my laptop there only to find that the wi-fi doesn't work.  It was also kind of nice to do local stuff.  I think a lot of the time Ohio gets a bad rap for being boring or having little to do or for mostly being populated by corn.  I will be the first to admit that Ohioans don't deny this a lot.  But there are some pretty fun things you can do around Ohio, and depending on your area, you might be able to find something really cool.  If you go to Columbus, you'll probably find more to do than if you stay in a small-town, or even Cincinnati.

Even though it's been an eventful spring break, I still am really dreading going back to school.  I know I get like this after every break, but I just don't want to go back to putting up with certain people's crap at school.  There are some people that just know how to get under my skin and some of them happen to be in a few of my classes - which is never a good thing.  Usually by the end of the day, they've said something that makes me want to go home and text my uncle (who's like my bff) and tell him how stupid these people are.  He's pretty great for putting up with it. :)

I had plans to spend this break reading and writing.  I've done some reading, definitely not as much as I had hoped.  And I've written a whopping total of 1,071 words this week - which equals around four pages.  I've had some road bumps that have made me really not want to write, that have made me question why I'm writing what I'm writing, and have made me really wonder about certain aspects of my life.  And maybe I haven't been all too clear about why I'm writing this for my cousin.  And while I feel that it shouldn't matter to anybody but me, I feel that I have to explain it, because people just aren't getting it.

I owe so much to all of our service men and women, for putting their lives on the line for me every single day.  I have service members in my family - retired veterans, currently serving soldiers, and, as you're probably aware, a soldier that gave his life for this country.  The men and women who give their all, literally, for this country and our freedom are the people I owe the most to.  I haven't had the privilege to know a lot of these men and women or their families, but I did know my cousin that laid down his life for me.  I know his story - because his story is part of mine.  I know who he was - is - and I know how much I loved him.  I can't claim to know his feelings toward me, but I know that my cousin loved me.  I know that he isn't the most famous soldier out there, I know that not many people are aware of his sacrifice, and I know that some of you might not even care that I'm a Gold Star Cousin.  But I feel Jimmy's story needs to be told - in some shape or form.  Granted, this isn't so much about his story before Afghanistan, so much as after and the aftermath of the earthquake that was his death.  My uncle told me the other day that this isn't obsession, as some seem to view it as, it's passion.  Obsession and passion are two very different things.  I've always been told that if you're passionate about something - DO IT.  So that's what I'm doing.  In some odd way, Jimmy got me writing.  If he hadn't been so adamant about people not being at his homecomings, I might have never started writing what I did, and if I hadn't, who knows, I might never have given writing another go after that first night I sat down at the computer and wrote a note to myself saying that I wanted to write.  I have always know that I owed Jimmy so much - for his service to our country, for being such an awesome cousin, for making me who I am, and, in an odd way, for inspiring me.  I don't like to leave debts unpaid. 

That's why I'm writing this.  And while I know that I can never completely repay Jim, I don't know of another way to start making those payments. 

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