Uta Hagen--

"We must overcome the notion that we must be regular...it robs you of the chance to be extraordinary and leads you to the mediocre."

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Worries, Sorrows, and Regrets

I'm posting this a little late as I didn't really know what I wanted to talk about today.  I debated talking about the shooting in Colorado, but decided against it.  But I guess this could be somewhat related.  I just decided to talk about worries, sorrows, and regrets.  Because nothing says "summer" like that, right?

Saturday we honored my Uncle Drew at a bike ride and after-party that raised money for his two sons' college funds.  I looked for pictures of my Uncle Drew to include in my reflection and found that I didn't have that many of my own, none that I really WANTED. 

Ever since Jimmy died (almost two years ago), I've tried to live my life without regrets.  I've tried to live every day to the fullest, and do as many things as I'm given the opportunity to do.  I've tried to get a taste of everything life has to offer (that's legal, anyway).  One of the outcomes of this was that I started taking pictures.  Lots of them.  I took pictures of my grandparents, my parents, my military family members, my cousins that I hardly ever get to see, my baby cousins that only stay little so long. . . But there are some people that you just think you'll always have the chance to do things with, to laugh with, to hug, and to photograph.  Drew was one of these people.  I regret with every fiber of my being that I do not have a recent picture with him.  The most recent one I can find is from 2009.  I had just turned 13.  Now, if you didn't already guess, I look a lot different than I did three years ago - heck, I look a lot different than I did one year ago. 

I don't really know where this post is going or what the point is.  But I guess what I want to say is, live like you DON'T have a tomorrow.  Treat every family gathering like it's your last, or someone else's.  Take NOTHING for granted.  Tell people what you want them to know BEFORE they're on life support. 

I haven't really touched the worries and sorrows part, have I?  Yeah I didn't really think this post through before I titled it.  I know they say not to title things before you write them - but I do with blogs because it gives me a purpose to stick to.

But anyway, worries and sorrows.  I worry a lot, which sometimes leads to regret.  However, I'd rather look back and say "I wish I hadn't. . . " than to look back and say "I wish I would've. . . what would have happened if I did?"  But when I look back and find myself saying that latter, I feel sorrow.  To me, regrets and sorrow kind of go hand-in-hand.  Regrets are never a good thing to have - whether you regret not studying as much as you could have for a test or if you regret not going to a family reunion or whatever.  They make you feel kind of lousy.

And this post isn't going anywhere, and I forgot what I was going to say.  So:  Live life to the fullest.  Believe in yourself.  Love yourself and others.  And. . . yeah.  Live it up.

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