Uta Hagen--

"We must overcome the notion that we must be regular...it robs you of the chance to be extraordinary and leads you to the mediocre."

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Reading + Guilt + Birthdays + Excitement = Confusion

So I've been reading a lot the past few days (mainly today), and that's a good thing. But the problem is I'm reading my story, not my book club book. Which I have to finish by Friday. But if I read 6 more pages today, I will have read 20 pages total today. If I read 20 more pages tomorrow I will have finished. I'll take some time off before starting revisions, which I hope to start before school starts back, and that'll give me some time to read The Widow's Season and finish it by Friday. I hope.


But I'm feeling guilty. Not only am I procrastinating with reading NT and TWS by goofing off and making pictures on http://www.faceinhole.com/ (the best one I've made is the picture above), I am also not spending too much time with my family. Which I feel super guilty about. I've been trying to spend more time downstairs with my family and less time in my room, but it doesn't always work so well. I've tried reading downstairs, but having a two-year-old sister who is addicted to Cinderella and therefore takes over the living room, doesn't make for the best reading/concentrating conditions. But if I'm not reading then I feel guilty because I know I could be reading.


My dad's 48th birthday is this week. It's Tuesday. So I've been racking my brain for anything of sentimental value I could give him this year, but nothing's coming to me. I hate being a bad gift giver, so I always try to give someone that means something to them, our relationship, or something that will make them laugh, or smile, or even cry. You know? My dad's super hard to shop for though. He doesn't tell us what he wants, so we're left to decipher what to get him. We've already gotten him something, but I like to give him something from just me. Wish me luck. *rolls eyes*


But the last few days have been exciting as well! I found out that my cousin Katie (http://www.smalltown-bigworld.blogspot.com/) has been allowed to move in with her dad and come to my school! Yay! I'm super excited about that. But I'm also nervous for Katie. Also, I'm very close to finishing reading through my novel, so that's exciting for me. On top of that, my family bought these new books that are supposed to help you with homework and school work all the way through college so, being the dork I am, I'm excited about that! Also, a year ago today Breaking Dawn by Stephenie Meyer came out! I went to a release party from 9:30PM (August 1st)-12:01AM(August 2nd) and dressed as Bella and everything! It was so much fun! *Btw, I officially bought BD at 12:10AM on August 2nd, 2008--nine minutes after it came out!! How cool is that? It was amazing and I can't believe it's already been a year! Oh my gosh! But it's exciting for me to remember that day and to think that maybe one day they'll be having mid-night release parties for my books. Okay maybe 'think' was the wrong word--maybe I should've used 'fantasize'. So excitement's definitely been present these last few days!


So all of this equals confusion. How you ask? Simple. I find myself feeling confused because I have so much reading to do that I've no clue how I'm going to finish it all on time. That leads me to feeling guilty because I'm not spending much time with my family. Which is pretty important because it's my dad's birthday week. But then I feel happy because I have some excitement in my life. So how can I be guilty and yet so happy? That's where I get confused. See, so it makes sense kinda. I mean it makes sense as to how I'm confused. But I've no clue what to do about it.

Anyway, have a wonderful and blessed day.

With love and blessings,
Officially Inspired

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